by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Book Review : Raise Your Child’s Self- Esteem!

So, Parenting Matters is back in action here. And we promise you, this time we will be publishing blogs regularly because we are now ready with many varied topics and content!

 Here comes a first of its kind article at “Parenting Matters” – a book review!

A book review for a parenting book! Please  note that this is not a paid promotion of the book.

Book Name: Raise Your Child’s Self Esteem!

Author: Nancy Krulik

Illustrated By: Amanda Haley

Publication: Scholastic

” Raise Your Child’s Self-Esteem!! “

So, what is Self-Esteem?

The dictionary meaning of Self-Esteem is “An individual’s subjective evaluation of their own worth.” It indicates how much we appreciate ourselves and like ourselves, how we feel or think about our appearance. The behavior, emotions and beliefs constitute together the self-esteem or self-worth of an individual. 

However, self-esteem is not something that an individual is born with. It develops from childhood and it depends on the experiences the child has.

Negative experiences have a negative impact on the person and lead to low self-esteem – feeling that others are better than himself/herself, not able to say ‘no’, being or feeling anxious, depressed, fearing failures etc.

But, if the child experiences more of positive experiences and is taught to take negative experiences in stride, the child can develop healthy self-esteem – being confident, aware of one’s weaknesses and strengths, and accept themselves, be able to express one’s needs, able to say ‘no’ and have a positive outlook towards life.

Hence, as parents, it is in our hands that we can help our child develop healthy self-esteem, by giving the right kind of experiences and helping them deal with whatever kind of situations they have to face. Having healthy self-esteem is a must for better functioning of individuals.

This book by Nancy Krulik gives 99 easy ideas or ways to help the kids develop self-esteem. It has four sections- ‘Grow together’, ‘Children first’, ‘Together time’ and ‘Creative Play’. Each section has 20-25 ways of helping children raise their self-esteem.

  • The book rightly points out that each child is unique and special; and this needs to be told to the child repeatedly.
  • There are some amazing games suggested in the book, which can be created and played with kids, focusing on their achievements and positives, rather than the negatives or failures that kids face.
  • The book stresses upon the importance of ‘having a dialogue’ between the child and the parent. Because it’s this way, that the child can express and give words to his/her emotions. 
  • The book has activities which bring about a sense of responsibility in the minds of children. There are tasks that can promote ownership, leadership and cognizance about one’s actions.
  • ●       The book suggests many family time activities, which could be an opportunity to spend quality time with kids.

If as parents, we are able to inculcate these simple tasks in our parenting, then we are giving the ‘gift of self-esteem’ to our kids.

Recommendation: A easy to read, less time-consuming handy book. It can be read by parents who have kids as young as 1 year olds to as old as tweens (11 and 12 year olds).

(The author is a Developmental and Behavioural Paediatrician and deals with issues of children’s development and behaviours. The author can be contacted through mail on drpallavi.paeds@gmail.com)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Sleep Hygiene: Newborns, Infants and Parents

The ‘to be parents’ are very excited to start the journey of parenthood. They eagerly wait for the little angel to come in their lives and fill it with happiness. But, as they say ‘kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai’, this happiness too comes at a cost! Yes, that’s true!! The parents’ lives are turned upside down when this little munchkin comes with no manual! And so for these new parents many challenges await. From feeding the baby to changing the diaper, to understanding the baby’s language – “crying”!! But one more untold and unforeseen confrontation faced by the new parents is to understand the baby’s sleep routine and to handle baby’s sleep schedule. However, while doing this, their own sleep schedules are affected badly. And unfortunately, no one has sensitized them over these issues until they themselves face these problems of sleep in newborns and infants. Hence, today in Parenting Matters, I, Dr. Pallavi Bapat Pinge, will be discussing sleep patterns in newborns and infants, its importance and the Do’s and Don’ts for maintaining sleep hygiene in infants and their parents.

Sleep is one of the fundamentals of general well-being of an individual. It is essential for our physical, mental and social well-being too. Sleep plays a very important role in the development of the neonates too. Not only their own sleep, but also their parent’s sleep has an impact on their well-being. If a parent has inadequate sleep and is fatigued while caring for the needs of the baby, the parent won’t be able to fulfil his/ her caregiving duties efficiently. There will be irritation, mood swings, loss of temper and so on. This shall have an impact on the baby’s well-being too.

Let’s first understand sleep physiology in neonates and infants :

Newborns (i.e. babies upto 28 days old; also called neonates) and infants (1 month of age to 12 months of age/until their first birthday) sleep for more hours than adults because sleep is important for the developing brain and body. Sleep is divided into sleep cycles where each sleep cycle has 2 distinct types of sleeps- NREM (non rapid eye movement) and REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.  The NREM sleep has 4 stages depending upon the depth of sleep and difficulty in arousal. The REM sleep is the stage in which we see dreams and it has a 55% share in the total sleep of an infant which reduces  to 20-25% by the time the child is 5 years old.

A newborn baby can sleep 16-18 hours a day, with around 8-9 hours in daytime and 8 hours at night.  However, the newborn’s sleep time is irregular, lasting mostly 2.5 – 4 hours and is synchronised with feeding time due to small stomach size.

Newborn’s sleeping time is divided into 3 parts – quiet sleep (similar to NREM ), active sleep (similar to REM) and indeterminate sleep. It is during the active sleep that babies smile, frown, twitch muscle and move arms and legs. Initially, a sleep cycle in neonate consists of equal proportions of active and quiet sleep and begins with the active sleep (i.e. REM sleep) and a single sleep cycle lasts for 50-60 mins. And each sleep duration of the neonate comprises of 1-2 sleep cycles only. This is the reason that newborns and few weeks’ old babies, wake up after every 2 hours approximately.

The sleep is governed by our circadian rhythm i.e. our body’s internal clock of day and night, which regulates our wakefulness and sleep duration. However, in neonates, this circadian rhythm is not fully developed i.e. their internal clocks are not synchronised with the external clock of 24 hours day and hence, these newborns can sleep during the day as well as night.  And it is for this reason that at least upto 3 months of age, babies don’t sleep through the night for 6-8 hours like us.  By around 6 months of age, the production of melatonin starts  which develops day night rhythms. Also, levels of cortisol – the stress hormone start showing day night variations which have an impact on baby’s alertness and hence infants by 3-6 months ‘start settling at night’  i.e. sleep more than 5 hours at a stretch. However, some babies may take longer to develop this settling in during night time sleep.This disrupted day-night sleep cycle may continue even upto 1 year in some babies.

Thus, by one year of age, sleep starts consolidating into one block. Also, as the baby grows, along with other developments, baby’s sleep requirement reduces as compared to neonatal period.  Infants sleep about 13 to 15 hours including night time sleep, morning naps and afternoon naps.

Now let’s focus on the do’s and don’ts for maintaining sleep hygiene in newborn and infants as well as parents.

  1. Do’s: Understanding hunger cues

Many parents consider that when the baby cries, baby is hungry. But, it isn’t like that. Every crying is not cry for feeding and also, every time the baby need not reach the stage of crying to indicate the need for feeding. In fact crying is a late sign of hunger. Offering milk to the baby, after the baby has started crying is too late and may actually make the baby upset and baby may become irritable and refuse to feed!  Hence, parents should be able to understand the early hunger cues of the baby. When baby awakens from sleep, baby is first in the quiet alert phase. Baby is very still, may look at objects, respond to sound and motion and then may progress to active alert phase where baby is attentive to sounds and sights and moves actively.  Here, the early signs of hunger are, moving slightly, turning head sideways, opening mouth and  rooting (i.e. baby tries to search for the breast by rooting his lips to nearby objects which come in contact of the baby’s cheeks/turning head from side to side  with an open mouth in search of the nipple). Then, baby will move on to mid cues of hunger which include stretching of body, increased bodily movements and  bringing hands to face, making sucking motions and noises with the mouth  or sucking on his fingers or putting fist in the mouth! However, if these cues are not noticed, the baby may progress from quiet alert phase to crying phase which is the late sign of hunger where there are erratic body movements, baby cries loudly and even face turns red.

Hence, understand the hunger cues.

2. Do’s: Know your baby’s favourite calming strategy/ know your baby’s sleeping cues.

When baby awakens slightly from sleep, it’s not necessary always to pick up the baby and calm him down. Sometimes, the bodily movements are just part of the baby’s active sleep and baby settles by self. However, if the baby is awake and crying and needs to be calmed down explore various strategies and find what suits your baby the best. Babies can be calmed down and made to sleep by cuddling, swaddling (its a technique of wrapping the baby using a cloth) , being held skin to skin (especially important in newborns and few weeks old babies), rocking, talking, listening to music or lullaby, stroking and so on! When babies are twice their birth weight i.e. around 6 months of age, their liver matures enough to supply glucose for the night and maintain blood sugar levels and hence, they may no longer need a night-time feeding. However, baby will still wake up for the sucking as the sucking becomes a stimulant for sleeping and helps the baby go into sleep. Hence, during these night time awakenings, baby only needs sucking as a stimulant to go back to sleep. So, breastfeeding or rather sucking becomes a routine for getting sleep.

3. Do’s: Tips to  help establish day night cycle in babies:

As mentioned previously, day night cycle doesn’t develop in babies until 3 months. However, to induce day night routine, light plays an important role. The natural light of day is followed by the darkness of the night. This natural cycle stimulates melatonin secretion in the brain and helps in stimulating the development of day and night cycle. However, in our current times, the kind of lifestyle we have in urban as well as rural areas, thanks to technology and electricity we are exposed to natural light till evening and artificial light till midnight and even beyond. This impairs the melatonin secretion. Hence, it is advisable for parents to simulate the changes of day and night at their homes by putting off the lights after 7 pm if baby is sleeping. Also, during the night time, when the baby awakens, do not put on bright lights. Use dim lights while feeding and caregiving of the baby and avoid over stimulating the baby as it can negatively affect the baby’s sleep.

4. Dos:  Ensure night time feedings for establishing sleep cycle of babies.

Many working mothers have to express breast milk and keep it for their babies , to ensure their baby’s feeding in their absence. However, when with the baby, ensure baby feeds directly on the breast. It is necessary for the mothers working or not working, to continue breast feeding even in the night time, because the breast milk in the night has special sleep inducing characteristics.  Breast milk contains tryptophan, an amino acid that is used by the body to manufacture melatonin- the sleep inducing hormone. Tryptophan levels rise and fall according to maternal circadian rhythms that means, the night time human milk is richer in tryptophan than in the morning, and hence when infants consume tryptophan before bedtime, they fall asleep faster.  Thus, breastfeeding helps newborn sleep patterns synchronize with the 24-hour day. The role of  tryptophan in altering baby’s sleep duration has been proved in various studies by feeding infants formula fortified with varying concentrations of tryptophan. And hence, night time feedings can help in establishing the 24 hour day night cycle of the baby.

5. Do’s : Methods of making an infant sleep

After the newborn period and first few months of life, it is advisable to place the babies in bed when sleepy but awake, so that baby learns to get on sleep on his or her own. This shall ensure that as the baby grows old, as a child the baby is not dependent on parents for going to sleep.  Swaddling, use of white noise machines, soothing music and a dark bedroom can all help baby stay asleep for longer periods.

6. Do’s: Role of infant massage.

As it is observed by many of us, when babies are given massage and bath, they sleep well. Similarly, even in night time, a baby massage can be soothing for the baby and help the baby sleep faster, longer and with less frequent awakenings. This massage also helps the baby develop more mature levels of melatonin secretion which is a sleep inducing hormone.

7. Do’s: Understanding your baby’s sleep pattern

After 3 months of age, baby’s sleep habits become more predictable and parents can expect a regular nap schedule. Maintaining a sleep diary can help you to understand your baby’s sleep pattern. By 4 months, most babies need three naps a day; one in the morning, afternoon and early evening. Between 6 and 12 months, your baby will probably go from having 3 naps a day to 2 longer naps, in the morning and afternoon. Every baby’s napping needs are different. Some nap for as little as 20 minutes at a time, while others sleep for 3 or more hours.

8. Do’s: Rest when the baby is sleeping

This is very important, especially when the baby is just few days old and mother and baby are trying to develop a bond, understand breast feeding and its nuances. As, previously mentioned, newborns don’t have day and night cycle, they sleep for short duration all the day and night, interspersed by awakenings for feeding mostly. If mother doesn’t take rest in the day time, then when she has to be awake at night for feeding the baby, she is likely to get tired thus making the whole process of caring and feeding the baby during night a bitter experience. And then mothers have sore backs in the mornings, they stress out and this ultimately affects negatively the mother’s milk output.

9. Do’s: Take help

In many households, it is the job of the mother to take care of the needs of the baby like changing diaper, changing clothes, bathing, feeding etc; whether its day or night, whether it’s a few weeks old baby or few months old. But, this overburdens the woman, especially in nuclear family settings, as she is already occupied with her household duties and doesn’t have much of a respite even in the post pregnancy period. However, if the spouse helps in these care giving activities from the beginning, the fathers get more time with their kid from the very beginning and they also become confidant about handling the small infant! After all parenting is teamwork and so duties ought to be divided! Fathers can take responsibilities of changing nappies, calming the baby and putting the baby to sleep after feeding, talking to the baby if baby is awake but the mother needs rest and so on!! The opportunities are numerous…the only thing needs to be done is offering a helping hand!

For single mothers or mothers who are at their maternal place,  they should ask for help from their other family members or friends to share some of the duties as and when possible. And this doesn’t make you a bad mother!! No one should try to overwork themselves just to ensure that they get the tag of ‘good mother’!! You can become a good mother, by taking care of your kid with the help of other family members too..!!

So, next time you feel like taking help, ask for it…that’s your right!!

10. Do’s: Handling your sleep debt

The frequent night time awakenings for feeding and care giving, hamper the much needed good night sleep for the mother. And if mother doesn’t have respite from household work in the day time, this inadequate sleep keeps on adding. This sleep debt can be dangerous for the mother as well as the baby. Sleep debt and sleep deprivation can lead to trouble concentrating, forgetfulness, mood swings, blurred vision, and alterations in appetite. Not only this, but if the sleep deprived state continues for long, that too in a lactating mother, it can have potential long term effects on health. Cumulative sleep deprivation for long can lead to damaging health consequences like obesity, diabetes, impaired glucose tolerance, cardiovascular disease, hypertension, anxiety, and depression.

Hence, ensuring 6-8 hours of sleep is a must, for which one of the solutions is taking rest in the daytime when the baby is sleeping. Power naps can be very beneficial in such times. Also, mothers can try methods other than sleep for rejuvenating self. Listen to favourite music, read a book, cook for the joy of cooking and not as a daily chore, or even work on a favourite hobby. It’s easier said than done. And finding time for self when you have a baby, its difficult, but then, here again, ask for help, here is a chance for your spouse and family to help. Also, prioritize healthy eating and physical activity in the form of some exercises, yoga etc. This will give you better energy during the day and promote better sleep at night. 20 minutes of ‘me time’ is all it takes to experience benefits like better mood and improved alertness. And this is very important because, your better mood and alertness can help you in taking better care of your baby.

11. Don’t: Never place the baby in prone position  i.e. on the tummy while sleeping.

This is especially important till 1 year of age because infants sleeping in prone position are likely to re breathe exhaled air or have oxygenation problems and decreased arousal. Also, in prone position, the pharynx is more collapsible and hence, there is risk of airway obstruction. Hence, Infants should be placed on their back to sleep when put in their bassinet or crib, until 12 months of age.

12. Don’ts: avoid over-stimulating your baby

As the parents should learn hunger cues, they also ought to learn the baby’s tiredness or sleepy cues!. Infants often have a more difficult time falling asleep when they are overtired because cortisol, a stress hormone, is released and works to fight fatigue. This can further interfere with falling asleep. Hence, look for your baby’s signs that she is getting tired: they may include rubbing her eyes, yawning, and getting fussy. Donot force feed the baby when sleepy. Similarly, at night time, when the baby awakens, donot over-stimulate the baby by actively talking to the baby, keep the lights dim, keep the voices hushing and let the mother feed or change the nappy, whatever is the need of the hour! Sometimes, baby just stirs during the night. Give the baby a few minutes to try and settle on his/her own, before approaching the baby.

13. Don’ts:Don’t put your baby to bed with a bottle of juice, milk, or formula.

This is for babies above 6 month of age, in whom weaning has started. Water can be given if needed. Anything other than water can cause baby bottle tooth decay. Avoid use of bottle. Instead either use wati/katori/bowl and spoon or use cup for feeding. Feed or nurse your baby, and then put him or her down to sleep.

14. Don’ts: Don’t start giving solids before about 6 months of age

Up to 6 months of age, exclusive breastfeeding is recommended because the baby’s gut is not mature enough to digest outside food and also, breast milk is the complete food upto this age. However, after 6 months, the nutrients supplied by human milk is not enough as the baby is now growing and also the baby’s gut is now ready to digest semisolid and solid food. However, in some households, parents and grandparents start semi solid and solid food after 4 months of age because of the myth that solid food will help the baby sleep through the night. However, it should be noted that if baby is given solids before his/her system can digest them, he or she may have tummy ache and that shall worsen the sleep.

Now, let’s see some myths which most parents as well as grandparents have regarding baby’s sleep.

  1. Myth: Newborn babies when  get up from sleep and cry, they cry for feeding

Reality: A newborn’s language of communication is crying! So, crying doesn’t always mean baby needs feeding. Baby can cry because of wet nappy or baby has passed stool, baby can cry because baby wants to be held in arms, baby can cry for need of swaddling, baby can cry when baby is swaddled and doesn’t want to be swaddled because of high temperature and so on!! These are the other reasons for crying and getting up from the sleep. Hence, every cry is not an indication for feeding. And mothers need to understand these cues. As the baby grows, within a couple of weeks mother starts understanding these different cues.

2. MYTH – Why sometimes babies cry excessively at night, as compared to day?

Reality: As previously mentioned, babies don’t have well developed day and night cycle. Hence, they can be awake as well as sleep during day as well as night. Similarly, they cry with same intensity during day or night. However, we as adults have our day night cycle tuned to 24 hour circadian rhythm! Hence, as the darkness falls, and night begins, our brain registers it and hence is sleepy! So, at 2 am, when the baby is crying just like in the morning, our sleepy mind takes this stimulus as an excessive cry and we feel that the baby cried excessively at night. Hence, next time, when your baby is crying at night, just relax and try to find the reasons of crying like hunger, need to be swaddled or rocked, need to change of nappy and so on!

3. MYTH- Why Baby gets up every 2 hours? Is the mother’s milk inadequate and is the baby’s stomach not full? This disturbs his sleep a lot.

Reality: As babies have only 1-2 sleep cycles in their single sleep duration, with each cycle being of 50-60 minutes and also because their sleep is coordinated with feeding, they are bound to get up even at night after every 2 hours. This doesn’t mean, that baby is missing out on his sleep or is getting inadequate sleep. As mentioned previously, the day night cycle is not developed until 3 months of age and in some babies even longer. So, your baby is bound to get up from sleep every 2-3 hours even at night and this doesn’t deprive the baby of sleep! So don’t worry, do not question your milk output and don’t worry about babies inadequate sleep.

4. Myth- Why does a breast fed baby get up frequently at night and why does a formula fed baby sleeps for longer hours? Is the breast milk inadequate for the baby?

Fact: Breast milk is easy to digest. Human milk is the perfect food for the baby, especially in first six months of life, as it contains all the vitamins, minerals and nutrients in right quantity and balance, nothing extra! This makes the milk easily digestible! Hence, after feeding, the stomach gets empty after about 2 hours and the baby is awake for feeding. Hence, the breast fed babies get up every 2 hours, even at night.

On the other hand, formula milk is synthetically prepared from cow milk and the nutrients absent in cow milk but required for the baby are added to the formula! Hence, it’s called ‘formula milk’ where the formula of human milk content is used to make a substitute using the cow milk!! Thus, the nutrient profile of formula milk is near to the human milk but doesn’t match it perfectly. That’s why it takes longer for the babies to digest formula milk and hence baby sleeps for longer time. However, it should be noted that breast fed babies as well as formula fed babies, even though have difference in night time sleeps, get equal amount of total sleep in 24 hours of a day i.e. 16-18 hours/day.

So, next time when you see your breast fed baby awakens every 2-3 hours, don’t worry, baby shall ensure his adequate share of sleep and won’t be deprived of sleep! Also, remember, breast milk is the best gift from a mother to the child, so don’t get tempted by the idea of feeding your baby formula milk at night just to ensure longer hours of sleep for the baby, when the baby is being breast fed all the day. Night time feeding on the breast during the newborn period and few weeks beyond that is very important for maintaining the milk output. Hence, night time feeding is essential and hence, your baby’s night time awakenings are essential!

5. MYTH: Using Diapers at night time helps to ensure that baby’s sleep is not disturbed.

Reality: Many parents are worried that if they use cloth nappies in the night time, the baby may remain in wet nappy for long or baby’s sleep may be disturbed because of frequent urination and wetting of the nappies. However, use of diaper might allay parents’ worry regarding disturbed baby’s sleep, but it exposes the baby to the risk of diaper rash, allergy to the diapers and also  an increased risk of infection. The disposable diapers absorb the urine and so baby doesn’t feel wet, but humidity persists in there and this can be a good place for growth of bacteria, thus increasing the risk of skin infections  as well as urinary tract infections  as the bacteria may enter the urethra and the urinary tract of the babies. Hence, use of diapers for babies is not advisable, whether day time or night time. Use cloth nappies.

So, after  reading all this, sleep hygiene and caregiving of neonates and infants may seem frightening for the new parents and the-would be parents, but do not panic, all you have to do is just follow the do’s and don’ts as mentioned in this blog and get your myths regarding your baby’s sleep busted and have a good sleep for yourself and the baby too!

Do like, share our blog and give your feedback in comments section. The blog is also available as a podcast on KUKU FM. The link for the podcast is https://applinks.kukufm.com/88dJcHHYdntDFwzSA

(The author is a Developmental and Behavioural Paediatrician and deals with issues of children’s development and behaviours. The author can be contacted through mail on drpallavi.paeds@gmail.com )

(Illustrations designed by freepik.com)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Screen Time-Boon or bane of 21st Century?

21st century, year 2020, and we are living in the digital world .If we have a look at our homes and count the number of appliances and technology based devices that we need from start of the day till bedtime- we will be amazed to see our dependence on technology!! We have TV, that too ‘smart’ ones for news, entertainment, we have laptops and desktops for ‘work from home’, school and college projects, we have internet to browse and search about everything and anything! We also have smart phones which are an all in 1 package-we set alarms, we make video calls, we watch web series on OTT platforms, we are on social media, we have apps for music and radio, we pay bills, get appointments and even attend official meetings on these smart phones! Not only this, we have mobile games, pubG, play station, videogames, nursery rhymes and songs and so many entertainment options for our kids of all ages !! Undoubtedly, being in this world of technology is indeed very opportune times for all of us!

But, as they say anything in excess is harmful….so is this Digitalization! And here comes the demon of excess digitalization- it’s called ‘Screen time’. Some of you must have heard about it, some of you know about it, but are not acquainted with the term- ‘Screen time’ !!So, what is this screen time? 

Screen time/Digital screen exposure is the amount of time spent by an individual using a digital/electronic media i.e. a device with a screen such as a smart phone, tablet, computer, television, video games or wearable technology. ‘Digital media’ refers to content transmitted over the Internet or computer networks on all devices, unless particular ones are specified. So, are we having lots of screen time or digital media exposure? Yes, absolutely- because we all are on atleast one of these screens –all the time!!

And now the most important question- are we exposing our children to screen time?? Yes…we are!! What is the youngest age at which these kids are exposed to screen time? Have you noticed around you? I have seen as young as 4 month old babies being shown mobile songs and videos by their parents!! Many houses have habit of keeping the TV on all the time, in such houses babies as young as 2months are exposed to this background TV!! So, what are the possible reasons-for introducing these small little dumplings to these screens?? There are many reasons.

For Feeding- yes! We expect a 15 month old to sit at one place and finish of his or her meal in 10-15 minutes just like us!! But this toddler who has recently learned to toddle around is more interested in exploring the surroundings!! And so, we give this little one, a mobile video to watch, and then just feed the baby hurriedly!! What a relief! So yes- we use while feeding.

Then, we use screens as a babysitting tool! In nuclear family settings as well as in joint families where we have forgotten our age old songs and rhymes to engage our kids, we have forgotten to play with our own kids, we are short of ideas to engage our kids, and we are busy ourselves on our screens-either for work or our entertainment; giving an Ipad/tablet or a mobile with your child’s favourite cartoon to watch is the easiest option to keep him/her engaged! So yes- screens are a babysitting tool!

Then, for entertainment- kids now a days are so well acquainted with the touch screen and all other technicalities of the gadgets, that they know how to download a game, how to play it etc. So, gadgets are used for playing video games and mobile games!!

Also, many informative apps are available for kids of all ages, which are used by parents to teach their children alphabets, numbers, and even learning apps which help in understanding concepts through audiovisuals!!

There are other reasons also, like  to prevent a tantrum, or to end a tantrum; to distract a child from an unwanted demand, or the last resort to keep the child busy ,so that you can do your daily chores!!! !!! So, yes we use screens for our children for various reasons!

But, are we heading in the right direction in terms of amount of screen exposure for our kids??

 Is your child being exposed to screen excessively?? What is excessive screen time exposure??

How to keep a check on that? Are there any potential benefits?  

Does screen time have a bad impact on your kid? Does this problem exist in India?

 Many of us might have the misconception that this is a problem of western world- we don’t have it!  To understand this, I would like to shed light on the magnitude of this problem! SO, in high income countries like US and UK,  in a study it was found that 66-70% of children in the age group of 2-5 years had more than 2hours of screen time daily!  Whereas ,in middle income countries like Thailand, Malaysia, India, nearly 40% of 0-2 year old children spent more than 2 hours/day on screens!!SO, the problem is of equal magnitude everywhere!

It has also been observed that screen time exposure increases in weekends compared to weekdays because of greater availability of time and lack of schedule! So, holidays, summer vacations and weekends are more likely to increase the habit of watching screens!!

In a study done in Malaysia, 25.7%of urban population had more than 2 hours of screen exposure; where as 32.7% of the rural population had more than 2 hours of screen time exposure! Thus, screen time exposure is prevalent in rural as well as urban areas equally and hence the problem of excess screen time exists in urban as well as rural population!!

TV still dominates total screen time and increases with age. Many children accumulate screen time at home and in child care, from a variety of screens that are easily transportable. And the range of exposure to screens is from 2-4 hours/day to more than 15 hours/week irrespective of age!! And hence, people busy in their phones during meals, children occupied with smart phones during metro or train travels or parent and child both engrossed in individual screens while waiting for an appointment at a doctor’s clinic are now-a-days regular scenes unfortunately!!

Now let’s focus on the effects of this screen time exposure on children! Early exposure to screen i.e. within 5 years of age can be formative. It can be habit-forming, and early overexposure increases the likelihood of overuse in later life. Also, establishing healthy routines with respect to media use is easier in early childhood than later on. And screen use tends to increase over time to include more entertainment than exclusively educational viewing.

There are potential benefits and risks of screen time affecting the development, psychosocial and physical domains of children. Firstly, the risks of screen time are as follows:

  1. Development: For language development, first two years of life are the most crucial years for the child!! The more stimulation child gets in this time, the more diverse is the language development of this child. However, exposing the child during these two years to screens including background TV has a negative impact on the language development. The use and acquisition of new words, developing vocabulary and comprehension of new words is hampered!  Why does this happen? Because Babies do not absorb content from TV which is presented to them in 2D format as compared to the 3D format, when we interact with the baby in person.  Infants may imitate some of the specific actions seen on the nursery rhymes between 6 and 14 months, they might even remember brief sequences of the rhymes like head, shoulder, knee and toes etc by 18 months, but they actually begin to understand content on these screens by the end of their second year only. So all the nursery rhymes, songs shown to the baby were a waste of precious time which we as parents could have spent in one to one interaction in ‘Motherese’ or ‘Infant directed speech’ i.e. high pitched but slow speech so that the baby absorbs our facial movements when we speak to him or her and learns from that.  The infants and toddlers are have difficulty transferring new learning from a 2D representation of screen to a 3D object in real life and hence are unlikely to learn from TV and other screens in this age group. Also, the sound effects and animation can interfere with story comprehension and event sequencing, thus ultimately leading to no benefit to the child’s development. In mobile videos and songs, infants are exposed to too many stimuli like light, sound, movement  and hence are unable to grasp anything out of it. Hence, these children exposed to screens at tender ages of 6-18months have the risk of significant language and communication delays!

Some red flags in language development, which as parents you can keep a watch on! No cooing responsively by 6months of age- i.e if baby is not responding to your talks with different sounds-; no babbling words like mama dada, kaka etc by 10 months of age, no gestures like waving bye-bye by 12 months of age, no words other than mama dada, not following simple commands and not pointing for wants by 18 month of age. No 2 word sentences by 2 years of age, not showing body parts by 2 years of age and less than 50 words vocabulary by 2 years of age are red flags regarding language development. In such scenario, you need to intervene and take your doctor’s advice.

And hence, considering the tremendous impact of screen time on children, World Health Organization and American Academy of Pediatrics have formed Screen Time Guidelines. According to these guidelines, no screen time is recommended up to 2 years of age; and for children 2-5 years of age not more than total 1 hour of adult directed screen time in a day is recommended i.e. screen time with involvement of the parents, thus making it an interactive watching instead of passive viewing.

Screen time has a negative impact on the motor development of children too. There is a delay in achieving motor milestones like walking, running, climbing stairs etc because of reduced opportunities for outdoor play or physical activity as the child is engaged more on screens! In older kids, lack of outdoor play shows its impact on the motor coordination refinement of fine motor abilities of the children!

Screen time also has negative effect on feeding. Toddlers who are given screens while feeding are just gulping the food while being engrossed in the screen and hence donot  have interest in the food- its texture, color, taste etc! Also, the child doesn’t develop understanding of one’s own satiety and hunger as he or she is forced fed while watching videos! Feeding while watching screens also affects the chewing abilities of the child, child just keeps the morsel in his mouth as he/she is engrossed in the video, child has to be reminded to chew and then swallow! In many families, even after the child is 3 or 4 year old, the child eats only pureed or paste like consistency food only, because it is this semi- solid food which is easy to eat while watching screens. So they have difficulty in eating solid food items, hence lose on to many nutritious food items and also are likely to become picky eaters. If this continues, child becomes dependent on parents for feeding, doesn’t eat Tiffin in school and is lacking self help skills of feeding self! This eventually affects the nutrition of the child!

Screen time also affects the cognitive development of the child by altering short term memory skills, reading and math skills. In a study, 4-5 year olds based on the history given by their parents, were divided into two groups- children with more than 1 hour screen time and children with less than 1 hour or no screen time! These children were then given blank papers, colours and some art material and were told to make or draw whatever they liked without any specific guidelines! It was observed that, children with more screen time needed some clues and guidelines to use the given material; thus showing difficulty in using creativity and imaginative thinking. Whereas children with less or no screen time exposure experimented with the given material and used their imagination and creativity to make different drawing and craft items out of it!! Thus it is evident that, screen time has a negative impact on the cognition of these preschool children.

2. Psychosocial Domain: In today’s world, as we can observe, our own use of mobile technology demands more intense attention than other activities like reading a book or watching TV. In such situations, we are so engrossed in it, that we are unable to engage in one to one interaction with the family members. Smart phones blur the line between work and home life, the time consumed on the devices is unpredictable and responding often requires emotional investment. For parents, shifting attention between screens and family life can be stressful, tiring and reduces their ability to interact ‘in the moment’ with children. When parents and child both are busy in screens, the quality and the amount of parent child interaction decreases leading lower level of involvement of parents and reduced stimulation for the child from parents. There is a strong association between parents’ screen time and that of their children.As parents are also busy in screens, there is lack of positive role model for the children when they are told not to spend time with screens!! Hence, there is chance of increase in conflicts between parents and child and thus increasing negative interactions and affecting family bonding!

Screen time does have a bad impact on our sleep too. The amount of time spent viewing screens before bedtime is associated with an increase in sleep problems. The volume of screen time as well as the content is detrimental to sleep patterns. The light exposure on the screens reduces melatonin secretion- the sleep inducing hormone in our body, leading to disrupted sleep, reduced sleep quality and duration. And if a child doesn’t have good sleep, then is likely to have behaviour problems in daytime when awake; thus forming a vicious cycle.

Excess of screen time exposure from an early age leads to hyperactivity, inattention, aggressive behaviour and anger outburst. As child spends more time indoors and less with peers and playmates, there is decreased socialization, which leads to lack of social skills too; child doesn’t understand how to behave in social situations, doesn’t learn to agree with disagreements, develops temper tantrums, has difficulty in planning, coordination and execution of thought into behaviours; thus provoking anti social behaviour and leads to social isolation. Excessive screen time leads to rewiring of the still developing brain leading to permanent changes in brain which promote anxiety, fear, depression, addiction, poor mental wellbeing, increased aggression and violent behaviour. A child spending hours on mobile games and videos promoting violence has difficulty in self regulation when moving around real world and dealing with real people and real life situations!

This negative impact on the overall development and psycho social wellbeing of the child leads to lack of school readiness in the child impacting his or her school life which can ultimately affect the personality and mental well being of these children as an individual.

3. Physical domain: The effect of screen time on physical domains is a long term consequence, majorly affecting school age children and teenagers. These children along with TV watching, mobile videos are also into gaming and internet usage and thus spend more time with the screens. This leads to decrease in physical activity and they are more likely to turn into a ‘couch potato’. Thus, exposure to screens promotes sedentary behaviours and compromises the much needed physical activity in these fast growing children. Spending time on screens also exposes them to commercial advertisements with alluring depictions of unhealthy foods like chips, chocolate, soda etc, thus encouraging unhealthy snacking habits. This ultimately leads to increased calorie intake which coupled with decreased physical activity increases the risk of obesity. Obesity if present in childhood is likely to continue in adulthood too, thus making prone to hypertension, diabetes and other lifestyle diseases.

However, nothing in this world is so bad, that it lacks any benefits or positives! So is the case of screen time too. It has potential benefits in development, psycho social domain and physical domain of the child; only if used mindfully and in moderation.

Potential benefits

  • Development: Beginning at about 2 years, if child is introduced to well-designed, age-appropriate educational programs with specific educational goals, it can provide an additional route to early language and literacy for children. These quality programmes also foster aspects of cognitive development, like creative thinking and imaginative play. So using applications with interactive media with age appropriate content- where parent can give timely reactions to what a child says or does, can help children retain taught information. Interactive ‘learn-to-read’ apps and e-books can build early literacy by providing practice with letters, phonics and word recognition. However, one needs to keep in mind that the amount of time spent on this is within the recommended limits of 1 hour for children 2-5 years of age. Also, though screens may help with language learning when quality content is co-viewed and discussed with a parent or caregiver, preschoolers learn best from live, direct and dynamic interactions with caring adults.
  • Psycosocial domain: Quality content can enhance social and language skills for all children aged 2 years and older. Well designed, age-appropriate educational programs and screen activities can be powerfully pro-social, helping children to learn antiviolence attitudes, empathy, tolerance and respect. Appropriately used, screen time can calm a child who is overexcited or distressed (e.g., during a medical procedure). But screen learning can affect behaviour both positively and negatively, so ensuring quality content is crucial.
  • Physical domain: Children’s screen time does not have to be passive; digital media use can encourage and complement physical activity. Especially after age 3 years, children respond to activity-based programming when it is fun, designed for them and encourages imitation or participation. Active video games can be used to increase light-to-moderate or moderate-to-vigorous physical activity in times when going out is not possible. Hence fun, age appropriate movement and fitness apps (yoga or dance) or console games can be used to integrate more physical activities into daily routines. . Mobile devices with apps for exploring the natural world can enhance outdoor physical activity. Such mobile apps can connect on- with off-screen experiences, foster engagement with caregivers and peers and support active, imaginative play. However, again this has to be within the recommended limits of 1 hour of screen time in a day and should not replace actual outdoor play in gardens and rough housing at homes!

So, while we wish to reap the benefits of screen time , how can we limit the screen time exposure to optimum levels?  So, we are going to approach this problem with a 4 pronged approach with the 4 Ms.

  1. Minimize
  2. Mitigate
  3. Mindful use
  4. Model
  1. Minimize screen time:

Minimizing screen time leaves more time for face to-face interactions, which is how young children learn best.

  • Screen time for children younger than 2 years is not recommended. So absolutely no screen time up to 2 years of age. By contrast, they learn intensely through face-to-face interaction with parents and caregivers. Early learning is easier, more enriching and developmentally more efficient when experienced live, interactively, in real time and space, and with real people. Increase cognitive stimulation and parent child interaction by doing activities using toys, colors, art, games books etc.
  • For children 2 to 5 years, limit routine or regular screen time to less than 1 hour per day. Watch with children. Adults can connect what is being viewed with real life, and build language and cognitive skills, such as attention, memory and thinking. Shared screen time also avoids the disadvantages of solitary viewing.
  • Ensure that sedentary screen time is not a routine part of child care for children younger than 5 years.
  • Maintain daily ‘screen-free’ times, especially for family meals and book-sharing.Avoid screens for at least 1 hour before bedtime, given the potential for melatonin-suppressing effects.

2. Mitigate (reduce) the risks associated with screen time:

When children watch educational, age-appropriate content with an engaged adult, screen time can be a positive learning experience, thus reducing the risk associated with screen time.

  • Be present and engaged when screens are used and, whenever possible, co-view with children.
  • Be aware of content and prioritize educational, age-appropriate and interactive programming.
  • Use parenting strategies that teach self-regulation, calming and limit-setting. Combine touch screen use with creative or active play.

3. Mindful use of screen time:

Children younger than 5 years learn best from live, immersive interactions with family members and caregivers. Given the choice, they will nearly always opt for talking, playing or being read to over screen time in any form. Hence, as parents and caregivers, we need to use screens mindfully.

  • Actively enhance—and limit—media encounters by choosing them together and purposefully (‘let’s watch or play this content, at this time, for this reason’)
  • .Limit screen use in public places and during family routines, such as at meals. Family times are prime opportunities for social learning.
  • Select content from quality, non-commercial sources, to minimize exposure to advertising. Pay attention to messages about gender, body image, violence, diversity and social issues when choosing content. Help children recognize and question advertising messages, stereotyping and other problematic content.
  • Conduct a self-assessment of current screen habits and develop a family media plan for when, how and where screens may (and may not) be used. Like no background TV, no screen time during meals, in bedrooms, and 1 hour prior to sleep. Developing a family ‘media action plan’ can help protect and reinforce quality family time. Setting meaningful limits when children are young and sharing them as a family is far easier than cutting back screen time when children are older. For children—and parents—off-screen time is critical for developing essential life skills such as self-regulation, creativity and learning through physical and imaginative play.
  • Remember: too much screen time means lost opportunities for teaching and learning.Be reassured that there is no evidence to support introducing technology at an early age. Your child is not missing out anything by being exposed to technology later.

4. Adults should model healthy screen use:

Children younger than 5 years require active play and quality family time to develop essential life skills, such as language, self-regulation and creative thinking. Regardless of age, children should not have to compete with screens for parental attention.

  • Choose healthy alternatives, such as reading, outdoor play and creative, hands-on activities.
  • Turn off their devices at home during family time.
  • Turn off screens when not in use and avoid background TV.

Thus, as we can see, the screen time has its effects on overall development of our children, and whether this is a positive effect or a negative one depends on how we use it!! So let’s use the 4 Ms- Minimize screen time, Mitigate the risks of screen time, Mindful use of screen time and Model good screen use behaviours to tame this demon  of ‘screen time’ and make it one of the boons of this 21st century!!

Do like, share our blog and give your feedback in comments section. This blog is also available as a podcast on KUKU FM .The link for it is

(The author is a Developmental and Behavioural Pediatrician and deals with issues o children’s development and behaviours.)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Dealing with Teens: In Times Of Lockdown (part 4)

We all are into the 3rd week of lockdown. And the number of patients of COVID 19 is increasing exponentially. Day by day the situation in India is getting unpredictable. It is uncertain whether the lockdown shall continue beyond 21 days or not. The researchers, medical personnel and the government officials are unable to predict how long it shall take to control the pandemic? The effect of this pandemic on the economy is incalculable and how long it will take to stabilise is unforeseeable!!! After being locked down for nearly 3 weeks, even our moods are fluctuating now!.

Too much of negativity…doesn’t it sound like that!!! These times are indeed chaotic and gruesome. But have you ever thought of similar kind of frightful period in your past? When we all were growing up- Have you ever faced such level of uncertainty, unpredictability, incalculability and instability?? We all have faced it while we were growing up!!It’s just that time heals and hence we have forgotten about it! In our minds, , the magnitude of the problems in those times was indeed huge. We had lots of questions- ‘why me’, ‘am I different’, ‘can anyone understand me’, ‘will my friends make fun of me’, ‘who am I’. And so on!!

 Yes, you all have rightly guessed it. I am talking about the period of adolescence!  The Tweens- 12 year olds and teens-13 years to 19 years of age!! This age group of young people don’t think they are kids any more, but we the adults don’t accept them as adults as yet!!! Yes, the adolescents face lot of turmoil during this transition period of childhood to adulthood. And unfortunately, most of the issues go unaddressed. This phase of 6-8 years duration is of immense changes-physical, sexual, hormonal changes which shall ultimately lead to complete development of an individual transitioning from childhood to adulthood!!

And today, at Parenting Matters- In times of lockdown, we shall be discussing with you these unaddressed issues of tweens and teens and how as parents we can support them in their journey of becoming an adult!

On following areas we shall focus while dealing with problems of adolescence:

  1. Family relationship: As the child grows from a newborn to an infant, then a toddler to a kid to a school going child, the family as a unit also undergoes tremendous changes. However, as these school age children become adolescents, the family faces the biggest test of time.  Lot many issues spring up between parents and their teen, which never existed before.  This is a time of turbulence in the family, which they have to handle together!! Hence, we have to focus on some issues while handling this phase.

  • Talk about physical and Sexual changes- Adolescence marks the period of tremendous physical changes in boys as well as girls. There is sudden increase in height –also called as growth spurt; weight gain occurs due to increase in muscle mass as well as body fat; skin and hair changes occur. In girls, maturation of female reproductive organs occurs internally and development of breasts occurs externally; menstrual cycle regulation also begins. In boys, broadening of shoulder, change of voice and maturation of male reproductive organs occurs too.  And we all have gone through these changes. But unfortunately, in very few families only these physical changes are discussed openly and distinctly; especially with boys where many changes go unnoticed as compared to girls!! And as these young minds are curious to know about the changes their body is showing, they tend to resort to unreliable sources like magazines, porn and advice from peers!!! So, even though you feel uncomfortable or your teenager gets irritated by you bringing out the topic, still talk about it. Let your teen know that everyone has to go through these changes and its okay to be curious as well as uncomfortable about it. Let your teen know that you are there for him or her, and he she can approach you for any queries any time. Take the help of a doctor if needed; or use reliable resources available on internet.

  • Handling emotional outbursts– The physical and sexual changes of adolescence are attributable to hormonal changes. There is an upsurge of hormones, increase in excitatory neurotransmitters in brain which lead to emotional lability– i.e.  Rapid and exaggerated changes in mood occur, when strong emotions or feelings are experienced by these young people. There is expression of emotions on extremes- too happy sometimes, too sad at times, sometimes sudden anger outburst occurs, and sometimes they have feeling of shame and guilt. So, parents should handle these emotional ups and downs sensitively and discuss the issue when the young chap is not emotionally driven and can understand your piece of advice. Introduce them to anger management techniques like breathing exercises, talking about it, identifying triggers, taking help of exercise etc.

  • Handling your teen’s self consciousness– Parents must have noticed, their adolescent has suddenly started getting conscious about his or her looks, his or her dressing etc. They become sensitive to other’s opinions and have increased receptiveness to peer influences too. There is increased sensitivity to public criticism. This can be attributed to a hormone called OXYTOCIN. To handle this, avoid finding fault with the adolescent in front of others. If the matter is important and needs to be brought into your child’s notice, wait until you can speak to the teenager alone. These teens also have exaggerated personal sense of uniqueness- they question- Am I different, Can anybody understand my problems etc. As parents, we should acknowledge the adolescent’s unique characteristics and at opportune times, encourage a more balanced perspective by pointing out that you had similar feelings as a young teenager and acknowledge that the insecurity and uncertainty the teenager has about one’s own identity is indeed difficult to deal with. 

  • Handling idealism and criticism– You will find your teenager criticising you, the neighbours, relatives and even society over different values and imperfections. They become the fault finders. As a parent here, we need to handle their remarks patiently and point out positives in the targets and make them understand that society and people are a blend of virtues and imperfections! No one is PERFECT!

  • Give them their personal space. – The parents of teenagers face an important issue of not being able to talk to their teenager as they used to do in the past, when they were younger. Many Parents complain of getting distanced from their own son or daughter. This makes them insecure and then they try to force them to talk!  This change occurs because, the teenagers are exploring their identity, they are trying to understand the physical changes in their body, they are spending more time with their peers, they feel their parents can’t understand their situation!  So to handle this situation, give space to your teenager, keep a watch on his or her activities but also don’t be a helicopter parent. Let your son or daughter know, that you are there whenever needed.

  • Treat them as friends– Yes! Treat them as equals. Parents often tell their teenagers, that they are not a small kid anymore and should behave maturely. Whereas at other instances, the parents tell the same teenager, that they are not old enough to comment on these adult issues. So, the teenager gets frustrated by these contradictory statements! And the parents are neither to be blamed here, nor the teen is at fault. What happens is that the brain of these teenagers is undergoing tremendous changes. There is increased connectivity between distant regions of the brain which leads to more complex, flexible and adaptive thinking.  These teens thus develop abstract, scientific and systematic thinking. So they can now understand higher mathematics like algebra, geometry, they can understand relation among time, space and matter in physics and they can even argue philosophically about justice and freedom. But these changes of brain are a work in progress, they are not fully mature. Hence, these young people have some difficulties in self regulation- leading to impulsive behaviour, acting without thinking, decreased self restraint and thus we call it ‘childish behaviour’.  Therefore, sometimes your son or daughter gives an advise like a mature adult and sometimes he or she has childish tantrums.  So we need to treat them as friends, as our equals and respond patiently to their behaviours. Take their advice if it’s really worth it and help them grow out of their childish behaviours by making them understand they can handle the situation in a better way.

  • Helping in decision making- Teenagers are at an important juncture of choosing their subjects thus leading to vocational paths; they have to balance between their love for sports or arts with their ever increasing load of studies. In such scenarios, avoid making decisions for your son or daughter. Let him or her make small small decisions of daily lives like whether to attend a wedding or not etc, show confidence in the decisions of your son or daughter.  Model effective decision making and offer diplomatic suggestions by showing the pros and cons of alternatives, the possible outcomes and learning from poor choices. Your teenager might make a mistake, but this experience shall sharpen one’s planning and decision making and help him or her to learn from poor choices too! Hence, explore various vocational options with your teenager, provide resource persons to talk and discuss with about the career options. Do not take decisions for your teenager!! Do not put your teen into the rat race of foundation courses for IIT, medical etc, when he or she has not even got a chance to explore about other fields!!!

2. Screen time: Keep a check on screen time exposure. Discuss with your teenager and set a limit; introduce the concept of balancing screen time with one’s schedule, using screen in moderation only and let screen time be  used as a reward which is earned after completing the homework or project work etc. The problem of Screen time exposure in this age group is multifaceted because of options available like internet, social media, gaming, TV, OTT platforms. Parents should know about the content being watched by their adolescent. Restrict access and limit social media. Use software to check on the browsing habits .Ensure no screen during meals, no screen in bedrooms and no screen 1 hour prior to sleep.

3. Sleep Hygiene– Puberty and hormonal changes lead to late sleep onset and thus late wake times. Also, The new found freedom of using mobile phones, laptops, heightened interests in peers and friendships and increased load of studies  add  up together as environmental factors competing with sleep. This leads to insufficient sleep and delayed sleep wake cycle. Hence, recommended sleep amount of 8-10 hours should be targeted. There shouldn’t be major discrepancy between patterns of sleep on weekdays and weekends. Therefore, ensure set bedtime, no Screens in bedrooms, no screen 1 hour prior to sleep and donot allow using the bed for other daily activities like eating, studying etc.

4. Reading Time– Reading in teenagers can help in giving perspectives to different scenarios. Reading fiction engages the teenager into evaluating stories, the characters in them, what they could have done and what they shouldn’t have done etc. Discuss a book with your teenager, make reading goals, encourage writing book reviews, join book club, etc. With non-fiction, you can draw attention to history, science, and politics and have discussions over it. These young minds can give us a new perspective to a thought we might have been holding on to for long! Books can also be used to discuss the changes of puberty and adolescence. For those, who had not been bitten by the reading bug, as yet, you can start now. Start with newspaper articles, graphic novels, short stories like those written by Ruskin bond, Sudha Murthy, etc. Just start. Read with your teenager and make reading goals. Reading is dreaming with open eyes and these teenagers deserve to see dreams!!

5. Eating habits: As the teens get conscious about their looks and as their body is showing changes, many of these young people go through phase of overweight, obesity  or distorted self body images where they wrongly self evaluate themselves as too thin or too fat. And then exposure to internet, magazines and advice from peers leads them to food faddism or extreme dieting. However, this period is of increased nutritional need of the body. Hence, parents should ensure that, their daughter or son is eating well and doesn’t have these body issues. If yes, it is absolutely fine to take medical help.

So to sum up,  as parents we all must focus on parent and teen relationship and simultaneously have a check on screen time, sleep hygiene, eating habits, promote reading, develop hobbies, give responsibilities , have confidence in your adolescent and most importantly believe in them!!!

I hope the info shared in this blog/podcast shall be helpful to all parents of teenagers!!

Do share, like and subscribe our blog. This blog is also available as a podcast on KUKU FM. The link ishttps://applinks.kukufm.com/tPsqAYRYknF2P8b5A

Do give us your feedback and suggestions in comment section.

(The author is a Developmental Paediatrician and deals with development and behaviours of children upto 18 years of age.)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Engaging 7-11 year olds: In times of Lockdown

Who is the busiest member of your family? Moms: working at home as well as in office?? Or DADs: having meetings, dropping kids to school, taking grandma to the doctor? Or your 9-10 year old champ, who has a packed schedule from morning till night! School, tuition, karate class or basketball class on weekdays, art class on weekends, homework to finish with, exams to tackle, friends to meet and so on! And somehow in all this, squeezing time to sleep too!! Yes, these school age children are the busiest member of the family. But for this busiest member, suddenly summer holidays have arrived early! That too without giving exams; and these holidays are going to be for long! But, because of the lockdown, we are not able to engage our kids into various outdoor activities like sports, dance, art class etc which we conveniently do in summers!! Because of the lockdown, these children are unable to hang out with their friends and peers! And so, being at home 24*7, sometimes there is friction between parent and child, sometimes they are getting bored and sometimes they are driving us crazy!!!

So it’s a full house!

And it is for this very reason, we are here at Parenting matters: In times of Lockdown to help you out in knowing and understanding   your children better and thus managing them effortlessly!

Children of age group 7-11 years form the part of middle to late childhood. Their physical growth slows down; their gross motor and fine motor skills have developed well by now. However, they show tremendous growth in language, cognitive, social, moral and emotional domains of development. They develop better communication, conversation and narrative skills. They  generally spend more time in social settings like school, playground, art class etc. and hence spend more time with friends than parents!! With peers they are learning to cooperate and work together agreeably and collectively. They start developing their identity! The magical, egocentric  and inflexible thinking found  in less than 6 year old children , is gradually replaced in these school age children  by flexible logical reasoning. They are ready to grasp mathematical concepts of numbers like addition, subtraction, multiplication. They can interpret mass, weight, length etc and develop spatial reasoning thus understanding  geographical directions too. They are able to classify and categorise things, situations and ideas by focusing on several aspects of a problem and this helps them in problem solving and getting organised.  

Thus as we see these children are on  a journey of tremendous growth in different domains of development; hence, while engaging them at home and letting them strike off their boredom, parents should focus on 8 areas.

  1. Have a schedule: Even though these are holidays, have a schedule for your child. Since, there are no schools or activity classes to keep them busy, lack of a timetable is likely to increase unproductive activities like watching TV, sulking because of boredom and snacking food! Sit down with your child, and make a schedule for the next day. Make schedules on a daily basis. Include regular bedtime and waking time; time for screen, time for reading, physical activity etc.  Schedules bring discipline, increase productivity and promote better utilisation of time. 

2. Eating habits: Many children have a habit of communicating their boredom by telling their moms every few hours- that they are hungry! And want something to eat or drink. Staying indoors, reduced opportunity of physical activity and boredom is likely to increase calorie consumption of these children. It becomes difficult for parents also to fulfil the demands by cooking something or the other. Thus, in such scenarios it is likely that we as parents take the aid of packaged food items or ready to eat food items like Chocos, biscuits, chips,  fries, Maggi, just fry , frozen desserts etc. These lead to increased consumption of HFSS- i.e high fat, high sugar and high salt containing food items !

Therefore, some rules regarding eating habits should be followed at home:

  • No eating in front of the screen or rather no eating while viewing TV/mobile/video games
  • Involve your child whether a girl or a boy,  in the preparations of at least one meal of the day. You can start with evening snacks and non fire cooking. This is a chance to teach your child various measurements in cooking, making understand serving portions and demonstrate applied science too.
  • Ensure that  in the diet of your child, there are at least 2 servings of fruits and at least 5 servings of vegetables in 24 hours of a day; where one serving is equal to ½ cup.
  • Make food items aesthetically attractive, thus increasing the interest of your child in the food. Have at least one meal together.
  • Replace highly processed foodstuffs with less processed or home-made options.
  • Limit sugary drinks, sweets, fatty meats and salty or highly processed foods
  • Ensure adequate water intake, i.e. at least 2 to 2.5 litres of water per day.

3. Screen time: Holidays and especially this lockdown have led to increased screen time. However, as per American Academy of Paediatrics guidelines, for school age children i.e. 6-11 years of age, not more than 1.5-2 hours of screen time is recommended per day. The content should be non violent and should be monitored by parents. Passive screen time is always more harmful than active, adult directed screen time.  Use screen time as a reward so that ‘earned screen time’ is used efficiently.  Ensure that screen time doesn’t compromise the sleep and physical activity of the child. Also, behaviour of the child should be watched for, since excessive screen time can lead to hyperactivity, inattention, irritability and sleep issues. Ensure no screens during meals, no screens in bedroom and no screen 1 hour prior to sleeping time.

4. Physical activity: At least 1 hour of physical activity is recommended for these school children. Engage them in your own work out, power yoga sessions etc. Nothing like sharing the joy of exercise with your children.  Here, you are modelling good habits too by setting an example.

5. Reading time: If your child has already been bitten by the reading bug, you can make your child’s reading time interesting by giving him/her assignments like finding 10 adjectives, finding 10 nouns, searching about the cities/places mentioned in the child’s story book. This age group of children are ready to explore science principles, geographical places, chronology of historical events; Expose them to such kind of books and make small small projects with your child on these topics. Do simple science experiments, make a map of your locality or route from home to school, discuss about the family tree of various dynasties and so on! Amar Chitra Katha has loads of issues based on historical and mythological characters. Similarly Tell me why, Nat Geo kids, Wisdom and many other magazines  provide the material needed for these absorptive brains! Make reading pleasurable by associating it with art and craft; make bookmarks for the books, Make a cartoon strip or a picture book with your child.

If your child hasn’t developed the habit of reading, you can start it now. Start with 15 mins per day; just 1 small story a day or 2 pages per day. But start. Read with your child, read to your child, reading together ensures that the reading time is not missed. Set goals for reading, like finishing together a book over a week or so! Reading actually reduces stress, improves memory, focus and concentration and induces better sleep. It increases vocabulary, improves communication and writing skills too.

However, many homes support their child’s not reading during summer with the reasoning that the child has to read so much in school days. But, this taking a break from reading leads to serious summer learning loss that can negatively impact long term academic achievement. This is called as SUMMER SLIDE. Students who read during the summer gain an average of 1 month of reading proficiency. Students who don’t read lose an average of 2-3 months proficiency and over time, those lost months add up to years. By high school, 2/3 of the reading achievement gap can be attributed to summer learning loss during the primary school years. Also, starting each new school year, teachers have to spend an average of 4-6 weeks of re-teaching the forgotten skills and materials! Hence, we have to make a wise choice by choosing reading over SUMMER SLIDE.

Thus, reading is a must. Ensure your child reads-read newspapers, comics, children magazines, story books, history , mythology and so on. There are lot many options out there.

6. Hobbies: Yes, this is the time to develop hobbies. Utilize your child’s leisure time in developing skills in art, craft, cooking, gardening, making scrapbook about interesting facts, music etc. See what interests your child. Availability of internet has made pursuing one’s hobbies much easier. There are tutorials for everything under the sun. All you have to do is search! Internet has also promoted the concept of ‘Do It Yourself- DIY’ and thus we are heading towards self learning rather than spoon feeding!!

7. Responsibilities and habits: This time of lockdown or rather holidays can be an opportunity to give your child household responsibilities and help in developing self esteem and feeling of competency. Household tasks like filling up the bottles, serving plates for dinner, sorting the laundry, cleaning and decorating a corner of the house etc can help in making your child a responsible individual. Giving the responsibility of taking care of one plant, observing how it  grows, will not only introduce science to your child but will also stimulate emotional development.  Developing habit of making the bed, organising the wardrobe make the children more organised. Use rewards and token economy for reinforcing these habits and responsibilities.

8. Siblings relationships: Families where there are siblings, can either have moments of cooperation and affection between the siblings or some moments of pity fights and quarrels leading to some amount of sibling rivalry. It is essential to maintain a balance between both. Hence, ensure that both children are given adequate attention. Both are praised for their strengths, target weaknesses individually and avoid comparisons! Engage in an activity which involves siblings together. Give them collective responsibilities as a team. This shall further develop skills of working in team cooperatively; evolving the family bond too!

So, in a nutshell,  during this lockdown, for your child have a schedule , monitor eating and screen time, stick to reading time, give at least 1 hour of physical activity, nurture the hobbies, develop habits and give responsibilities and utilise resources by making siblings a good team!!!

I hope, the information shared in today’s blog shall be useful to the parents of school age children (7-11 years) . . This blog is also available as a podcast on KUKU FM . the link for podcast is http://applinks.kukufm.com/KosAHHaNWx4PdfZ48

Do share, like, subscribe our podcast and give your feedback and suggestions in comments section

(The author is a Developmental Paediatrician and deals with development and behavioural issues of children.)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Engaging children(3-6year olds) |Times of Lockdown

Have you ever been to a garden? Of course, what kind of question is this? Then have you noticed the children over there. There are children of all age groups; from 0 to teens!! Some infants are in their mother’s lap , some are  in a pram with their granny, and enjoying the show peacefully; some teens are busy quarrelling over cheating in a match, some 8-9 year olds are inquisitively looking at a snail or caterpillar in the bushes and planning some prank or so!!. But the happiest souls exploring the place like a free bird are 3-6 year olds!! They are the ones who are carefree, exploring the world and people around them without any prejudice!! They want to explore everything, the swings, the slide, the soil, the way a football goes up after a kick, and so on!! Nothing like a 4 year old ready to be friends with a stranger/another kid! But, these kids are still dependent on their parents. From the corner of their eye, they keep a watch whether their mom is looking for them or not! If someone offers them a food item or something, the child looks for an affirmation from his/her parents before accepting the offered item!

Thus they are not yet completely independent individuals, but are also not as dependent on their parents as an infant or a toddler. They are exploring, they are learning and they are growing up! And now, all because of the CORONA pandemic, these young explorers are trapped at home because of the LOCKDOWN. They are not able to go OUT and explore objects, people and behaviours!  No play school, no pre-school, no crèche and no gardens! Just think about a researcher whose research has been put to a halt because of lack of funds!!! Exactly, that’s the feeling your child has right now! But no worries, we are here at Parenting Matters- in times of lockdown to help you engage your 3-6 year olds at home, and create an equally stimulating environment in space limitations!

Early childhood i.e. 3 to 6 year olds is a period of child development where they develop more refined motor skills, become more self controlled and self sufficient. Their make believe play blossoms. They start relating their experiences like travelling in a train, going to a fun fair etc in their imaginative play. You find a 4 year old getting ready for office or preparing tea for the dolls in his/her play. Their thought and language expands at an astounding pace; they start using difficult words, phrases and can even tell short stories., a sense of morality starts developing , they start understanding terms like ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and initiate friendships!!

  These children form the 3rd stage of Erikson’s Psychosocial stage where children are learning to take initiative, explore and if parent’s support this sense of purpose of their child, a sense of ambition and responsibility develops. However, if too much self control is demanded at this age by the parents may lead the child to excessive guilt, thus affecting the self esteem of the child. This age group represents the Pre operational stage of Cognitive development as theorized by Piaget. And Make believe play forms the most important part of their development in all domains- motor, language, cognitive and social too! It is this make believe play  which strengthens the memory , sustained attention and logical reasoning. It highlights the imagination and creativity of the child. Imaginative play creates an opportunity for the child to understand emotions and reflect on one’s own thinking. Child starts taking another’s perspective too.

They say children are born creative, but 98% cease to be creative as they become adults! And Hence, we the 98% not creative adults find it difficult to engage these young explorers and creative minds!!!

So while dealing with this age group I would like to focus on two major areas-

First, activities for the children and                                                                                             

Second, general guidelines for parents while handling them.

Following are the ways in which you can engage your children (3-6 years) at home during these times of lockdown and beyond.

  1. PLAY– Have you ever wondered why the schools of 3-6 year olds are called PLAY schools? What does the term “Kindergarten” mean? It means children’s garden!! And what to do children do in gardens? Play. Exactly, this is the reason these schools are called play schools. Because PLAY is the single most important occupation of children. Play is the work of childhood.  Albert Einstein has rightly said “Play is the highest form of research.” It is through play that children are learning, experimenting, creating and thinking!

While playing with your child, provide your child with realistic materials like toy car, dolls, cooking utensils etc and also provide materials with no clear function like blocks, blank papers, sand etc. The combination of these shall bring out the creativity in your child’s play.

Gross Motor Activities:

  • You can engage your child in hopping, jumping, wheelbarrow walks, skipping, animal walks,(crab walk, elephant walk, frog jump etc) alphabet yoga and animal poses (cat, frog, rabbit etc).
  • Activities involving   a series of action commands, obstacle courses spanning all the rooms of the house, balloon toss using both hands fists, alphabet bull’s eye and so on promote gross motor skills.
  • Atleast 30 minutes to 1 hour of physical activity per day is a must.

Fine Motor Activities:

  • Activities like opening bottles, squeezing, punching holes, lacing, beading, finding buttons in clay dough or Atta dough, putting coins in piggy bank etc can help in refining the fine motor skills of the child.
  •  They help in developing hand grip, handedness, hand coordination and hand and finger strength.
  • Here I would like to mention, donot force a left handed child to right handedness. It’s going to do no good to the child. And being left handed is absolutely fine!! Many geniuses and creative people have been left handed.

Art and Craft:

  • Involve the child in some art activities like craft, origami, etc Start with as simple as a boat, dog, house out of colored papers.
  • You can make a collage using bits of newspaper. For example, draw a large mango on an A4 paper, and then find yellow color on the newspaper, tear those bits, and stick them.
  • Use different types of stickers and help your child decorate his/her name.
  •  Let your child scribble, draw, color different objects. Let the child go by his imagination and creativity. Donot try to limit the child by making him follow the conventions like blue sky, green plants etc. If your child wants a PINK SKY…so be it!!!

Activities promoting Pre writing and early literacy skills

These children are   learning to write, learning alphabets, numbers, colors, shapes etc.

  • Paper pencil activities like mazes, find the difference, join the dots, find the odd man out, alphabet search, number search are very useful.
  • For these, many online worksheets are available. Also, magazines like Magic Pot, Read and Color, Chiku Piku also have similar activities!
  • At home, during daily activities like arranging utensils in kitchen rack, putting clothes for laundry etc you can practice counting, identifying colors, and shapes with your kiddo.
  • Use finger paints, crayons, sand, Atta to help your child trace alphabets and numbers and thus learn and enjoy in messy play!

Activities to promote Cognitive skills:

  • Teach the child concepts like big and small, more and less using toys, food items and other objects.
  • Give sorting activities.
  • Play dumb charades with your child to teach him about various emotions, actions, weather conditions, adjectives etc.
  • Create riddles and play guess who, make a treasure hunt for your child using clues like- red objects or round objects etc.
  • Blind fold your child and let the child identify objects given in his/her hand or ask him/her to identify the sounds of animals, objects that you make (Soundscape).
  • Play games like copy me and Simon Says-these stimulate imitation, attention and right and left differentiation also.
  • Jigsaw puzzles are big cognitive exercise. If you don’t have jigsaw puzzles, you can make one at home. Select a picture of animal, cartoon etc, paste it on a card board, cut it into 4 pieces and the puzzle is ready. You can gradually increase the difficulty level by increasing the number of pieces as the child starts enjoying it. Or you can even use the front side of a Cornflakes box or Choco’s box and divide it into pieces to make a puzzle.
  • Board games like snakes and ladders; ludo, carom, Jenga etc help in understanding rules and turn taking.
  • Memory games, Ring toss also can engage and stimulate the creative minds!

2. Reading Time and Story time : This lockdown period can turn out to be a great opportunity for you to develop the habit of reading in your child. It promotes child and parent bonding where you can open the whole world of possibilities for your child.  Joseph Addison has rightly said “Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body”. And hence a child who reads will be an adult who thinks! Daily reading for 10-15 minutes can add up to exposure to more than 1 million words in a year. Reading daily with the child can enhance General Knowledge, vocabulary, reading comprehension, verbal fluency and spellings! Children’s books actually contain 50% more rare words than prime time television. So we have to make the wise choice. Even if you are not yourself into reading regularly, start with your kid now! It’s never too late !!

 Story time is actually a part of reading time but it can be made more interesting by asking questions about the story during and after the story; Creating situations and asking the child what he/she would have done; bring a twist by asking the child to ring the bell as the names of the characters appear in the story or  just  weave a story with your child line after line!

3.  Self help skills or Activities of daily living– This is the age to learn toilet training, to undress and dress up, eating by self, brushing teeth, tying shoe laces and so on.  These are called self help skills Give opportunity to your child to do these activities even though you feel the kid won’t be able to do them properly. In our Indian culture, parents have an inclination of doing things for their child out of love and affection, but then that child doesn’t develop these essential self help skills by 6 years of age and hence in later ages is still dependent.  So you can use this lockdown period to focus on any one self help skill and help and motivate the child in doing that. Use rewards like stars to reinforce the desired behaviour.

4. Social stories: As we are practising social distancing, the opportunities for socialization are minimum for these children. And since this is the age when children socialize, make friends, learn social skills, they are indeed missing out! So, as parents you can make social stories with your child, where you can take scenarios like, visiting a friend’s place, going to the doctor, going for a haircut,  going to the movies, what to do when  hurt, etc. Then using colors, papers and framing some single line sentences, a story book can be made. This can be useful in making the child understand various situations, the social skill needed, the kind of behaviour expected in the scenarios. So even though in lockdown, you can help your children develop social skills.  

These stories later on can be used just prior to the situation also, thus helping the child reduce the anxiety of unknown , because most of the times when we take our child out, we donot convey where we are going and what is expected of him/her over there; and then suddenly we find the child being anxious or misbehaving in the social scenario.

So in this way, you can do variety of activities with your child at home, all you have to do is use some creativity and imagination!

  Now let’s focus on some general guidelines for parents while handling their children.

  1. Catch your child being good. We as parents take our child’s good behaviour for granted and hence do not acknowledge. But praising the child and acknowledging good behaviours can reinforce the behaviour and also increase the child’s self esteem.
  2. Be consistent. Both parents as well as the grandparents (if staying together) should be on same page regarding child’s behaviour. If child gets different responses for same behaviour from the mother or father or grandparents, kid is smart enough to manipulate and get things done as per his/her will.
  3. Keep promises. If promised a reward for a good behaviour, ensure that you give that reward. Hence, rewards which are doable should only be promised. Rewards like pat on the back, praise, stickers, stars, small toys, play time with parents etc are advisable.  Similarly, if any punishment or denial of privileges was promised for not obeying or for misbehaviour, it should be executed. However, any type of physical punishment is not recommended.
  4. Provide good models/lead by example. Children are very observant. They pick up habits of parents without being taught to. Hence, if you wish to develop a habit, ensure that you lead it by setting an example. Some good models of values like kindness, honesty, cleanliness can be taught in real life settings as well as through story books.
  5. Label the act not the child.If child misbehaves, donot label the child as bad boy or bad girl, rather label the act done by the child as bad. This is very important to develop self esteem of the child. Also, explain why the act is bad or wrong and what was expected from the child.
  6. Give responsibility to the child. Simple tasks of bringing a water bottle from the kitchen, to taking help of your child in caregiving of the younger sibling can boost up the self esteem.
  7. Give positive directions and clear commands to your child. Limit setting is a must. There should be a balance between child listening to your commands and you fulfilling child’s demands. Too much of permissiveness will lead to temper tantrums and behavioural issues. Too much of control can decrease the confidence of the child and even sow the seeds of shame and guilt.
  8.  Quality time or Child Directed time: This is that time of the day, where you do not tell your child what to do, but rather your child chooses what to do and you be just a part of the activity without being judgemental, without giving instructions to the child. Spend 10-15 minutes of a day with the child this way, and you shall notice your child’s independent thinking, creativity and interests. This is a chance to build up that bond and confidence between you two, so that your child knows when in need you will be there without judgement.
  9. Screen time– As per American Academy of Paediatrics, for children 2-5 year old, not more than 60 minutes of adult directed screen time is recommended. That means, the parent should be actively involved while viewing on screen, and should involve the child in interaction while watching. Parents should themselves choose the content and shouldn’t allow passive and independent watching of videos, songs and games! Studies have shown that excessive screen time  can lead to delay in language acquisition and usage, delay in motor skills due decreased opportunity  of physical activity, decreased imagination and creativity, lower parental involvement, hyperactivity, aggression, reduced sleep,  poor sleep quality , unhealthy eating habits, obesity and poor social skills. Hence, limit screen time exposure, provide good models by decreasing your own use of screens, follow no screen in bedroom, no screen during meals and no screen 1 hour prior to sleep.
  10. Sleep Hygiene– Holidays affect the sleeping habits of kids badly.  No set bedtime, late morning awakenings, screen exposure before sleep all these affect the behaviour and activity of the child during the day. Hence, even though holidays are there, set bedtime has to be a rule, child’s bedroom should be quiet and dark ,follow bedtime routines like brushing teeth, bath ,reading story etc. Physical activity during the day helps in having a good sleep at night. Avoid caffeine (which is present in colas, chocolates etc) in the evening, as it can delay sleep.

So to sum up, in these times of lockdown, the magic 8 ways of engaging the 3-6 year olds at home are

  1. Use activities that promote motor skills, pre writing and early literacy skills and cognitive skills of the child.
  2. Take the help of art and craft.
  3. Include story time and reading time in daily schedule.
  4. Focus on self help skills and build it up.
  5. Introduce Social stories.
  6. Spend quality time or Child Directed time daily for atleast 15-20 minutes.
  7. Screen time not more than one hour per day.
  8. Maintain sleep hygiene.

I hope that the information shared in this blog shall be useful to the parents looking out for solutions while dealing with their children in the age group of 3-6 years. You can also listen to this information on podcast at KUKU Fm. The link for the podcast is http://applinks.kukufm.com/bvC5frCvZCMxV95m6 We will be coming soon with our part 3 of Parenting Matters-In times of Lockdown!

 Do share, like and give your feedback and suggestions in comments section.

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

PARENTING MATTERS-In Times Of Lockdown!PART 1

India as a nation is fighting with COVID19 pandemic and hence, LOCKDOWN of 21 days has been declared to tackle this health crisis! It’s been more than a week now and we all are doing our part by staying at home. But, then this sudden lockdown with our family has brought new challenges at our doorstep. There are challenges at work, because many of our work profiles previously didn’t work in ‘work from home’ model; challenges at the kitchen front, because the perishables are exhausting and groceries we have to use cautiously; challenges at the home front, because the maids are not there and even challenges at relationship levels- husband wife relation or even parent-child relation!!

 In urban scenarios as well as in nuclear families with working parents who have to  work from home on their PCs and, laptops – parents are struggling as no househelp is available to take care of their kids and house too; there are no creches around or play schools open to engage the kids for some time. So the “millennial” parents are facing a novel crisis of engaging their children 24*7.

For parents of 0-2 year olds, we have different scenarios. Some mothers are homemakers, some had just started with Work from Home and some had unwillingly got back to office because their leaves were exhausted, but now  are happy to be back home with work and kid together! But, still the challenge of engaging the kid persists and is more or less similar in all these aforementioned situations.

But, the good news in these times of lockdown is that the team of “PARENTS” has just got stronger , because fathers too are there at home full time! Hence,as a team you can tackle the situation better! There is a chance for sharing of responsibilities. Parents can divide some household duties as well as caregiving duties for the child amongst themselves like bathing the child, feeding the child(this is for >6 month old babies, because upto 6 months of age, exclusive breastfeeding is recommended), changing clothes, diapers etc. This shall reduce the burden on working mothers as well as homemakers and also shall increase the involvement of the fathers with the child. For fathers, this work from home is a blessing in disguise and hence they should grab this opportunity of spending more time with their kid; something they must have missed while being in the office for they couldn’t get enough paternal leaves(even if they wished for it)  unlike their spouse.

So, now we shall be focusing on “how to spend quality time with your kid(0-2 years of age)?”

First two years of life form an integral part of first 1000 days concept of World Health Organization! During these 24 months, more than 80% of   brain growth and development occurs! Hence, this is a crucial phase of child development, where a newborn who is completely dependent on the mother for its needs, grows to become a 2 year old who can walk independently, talk in short sentences, eat independently (although messy) and can even express his personal and emotional needs to some extent. As parents, this is the time when we ought to ensure that child gets enough stimulation and opportunity to develop all the skills  which are required to become this talking, walking and cute naughty 2 year old!!

Following are some of the important areas which should be focused on while engaging the kids at home (24*7) in times of lockdown and beyond.

  1. The most important of all is-TALK!! Talk to your child from morning  daily routines of getting up to bathing, dressing ,feeding, toileting  until bedtime at night. Talk in slow speed, with a little high pitch voice with lots of facial expressions, gestures and animated noises for your kid to absorb ! This kind of speech is called “Infant directed speech” or “Motherese”. Talk about things around the child, objects, toys, about animals, birds, and so on!
  2. PLAY– Playing with your child with undivided attention. You can engage in various activities that promote bodily movements  and thus enhance the child’s gross motor development. Activities involving climbing stairs up and down, creating an obstacle course for your kiddo who has just started walking independently, some roughhousing with the pillows and mattresses, involving the baby in clean up of scattered toys all over the house, creating a bedtime schedule with your kid’s  favourite soft toy and so on. Kids are very good at imitating, involve your kid in your exercise routine and see how your yoga, push ups and work out becomes enjoyable for both of you!

 All these suggested activities are for more than 1 year olds, who have started walking.

Some of the suggested websites to read about these activities and explore the world of different play activities for 0-2 year olds are as follows:

http://www.helpmykidlearn.ie/activities/0-2

https://activeforlife.com/activities-for-babies-and-toddlers/

https://theinspiredtreehouse.com/

https://www.babycenter.ca/c25004199/lets-play-fun-games-for-you-and-baby

While engaging in play, promote bilateral use of hands to develop fine motor skills. Sit with your kid, give crayons to scribble, use finger paints, give flour/atta dough ,  blow bubbles and get involved  in some messy play!!

  1. TUMMY TIME– Tummy time plays an important role in infants less than 1 year old.  It creates opportunities for developing fine motor skills of the baby, as the baby is comfortably lying on the tummy and has his hands free to grab, hold or even throw toys, blocks etc. It shall help in strengthening the core muscles of the trunk too, as the baby crawls on his stomach to reach for objects!!
  1. FEEDING TIME –Feeding time can be a big time of struggle between the parents and child. Introducing complimentary foods and weaning the baby gradually from breastfeeding is a big mission in most houses.  So to deal with introducing complimentary feeding at 6 months and above- some thumb rules are to be followed:
  • Fixed schedule for feeding- introduce one food item per week at a scheduled time daily for at least 8-10 days ,before declaring it as disliked by the infant.
  • Variety is more important than quantitiy, as the baby is still breastfed and not completely dependent on this new food!
  • Go from liquids to semi solid to solid foods gradually.
  • Introduce finger foods once the child is able to accept solid food and can sit independently.
  • Promote responsive feeding- Do not force feed the child. Let the child play and be messy with the food. Feeding time is a chance to talk , tell stories, too.
  • NO SCREENS while eating. No cartoons, No nursery rhymes, No videos

Since, breastfeeding is recommended atleast upto 2 years of age, weaning the baby completely from breast  feeding should be tried after around 20-22 months of age. Decrease daytime feeds first, then shift your focus on night  time feeds.

READING TIME–  There is no minimum age to start reading. Reading to babies as young as six months of age  leads to stronger vocabularies and better early literacy skills at 4 years of age. And hence, variety of books are available in the market like cloth books, touch and feel books, board books and so on. But, right now, during the lock down since we can’t buy a book, LETS MAKE A BOOK !! You can use some A4 papers, colors, newspapers to get cut outs of vehicles, birds, objects, food items etc. Make a scrapbook for your kid! What a fun way to introduce picture books to your kid!! 10-15 minutes of reading time daily can lead to huge developmental advancements in your child’s language as well as cognition.  It is the best way to enlarge your child’s world because books can take you places!!! A study in New York has shown that children growing up in homes with at least 20 books get 3 more years of schooling than children from bookless homes independent of their parent’s education, occupation and class.

Hence, Read, Read, Read…Read with your child, read to your child because ‘children are made readers on the laps of their parents. Some book suggestions  for 0-2 year old, which can be downloaded and read are as follows!!

https://www.eklavya.in/books/flip-books/flip-books-in-hindi

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Kindle-Store-Childrens-eBooks/zgbs/digital-text/155009011/ref=zg_bs?_encoding=UTF8&tf=1

  1. As we have discussed about spending time with the kids and engaging them, an important issue to be taken into consideration is SCREEN TIME!

In these times of lock down and social distancing, there is a need to stay  connected with outside world , get updates of current happenings, get in touch with our family and relatives and also entertain ourselves  out of boredom! The answer to all these requirements is one and only one- Gadgets or technology or Screen time! The smartphone has something for everyone! Hence, there is VOOT KIDs, YOUTUBE KIDs  and many other  apps promoting use of screens for our kiddos too!! But, exposing the children of age less than 2 years of age to screen time can be harmful to the child’s development and  excessive exposure has been associated with speech and language delays, decreased socialization, behavioural problems, hyperactivity and even sleep issues! As per American Academy of paediatrics guidelines- NO  amount of screen time (including background TV) is recommended upto 24months of age.

So what can be done to avoid SCREEN TIME

  • Use audio-radio,music apps,etc
  • Talk.Sing to your child. Your child deserves to be talked to.
  • Limit usage of screen for video calls only.
  • No screentime during meals. Follow this rule for yourself, and it shall be easy to implement for the whole family.
  • Stop your own use of screens 1 hour prior to sleep.
  1. TIME FOR SELF– Let your infant enjoy time with self too.  Too much of stimulation or attention also affects the kid, as kid becomes completely dependent on outside world for fulfilment of his/her  needs. This can bring up behavioural problems too.  In 24 hours of  a day, if you leave your child for some time (say start with 10 minutes) with nothing specific to do , its this time that child shall learn to explore, be creative and be observant. It is in this time you can notice what your kid does ,what the kid experiments and what your kid enjoys!! Hence, ‘me time’ is itself a good way of engaging your kid.

To sum up, this is how parents can engage their kid in the times of lockdown with no place to go, no gardens to visit and no play dates to entertain. I hope that the info shared in this  blog/podcast shall be useful to  the parents looking out for solutions  while dealing with their children (0- 2 years of age).

We will be soon coming with our part 2 of Parenting Matters-In times of Lockdown!

 Do share,like and subscribe to our blog. For those who prefer audiovisuals over written material, his blog is also available as a podcast on KUKUFM. The link is  http://applinks.kukufm.com/Tf9VREkJ4L18qvMB7

Kindly give us your feedback and suggestions in comments section.

(The author is a developmental paediatrician and deals with development and behavioural issues of children.)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

The Journey Begins

And so here, we embark on a journey which I had intended to start quite a long time ago. However, something or the other always came up or I couldn’t find the right topic to start with and I can go on telling a number of excuses like these. But this CORONA or COVID19 pandemic or the LOCKDOWN, led to THE GREAT REALISATION that we as humankind are expecting from this. And it made me finally get into action mode, and then writing mode too. When one of my friends discussed with me the issues which parents are facing in these difficult times, I realised that this is it – a problem for parents in which I could help them dealing with it, to some extent. And so, ‘PARENTING MATTERS’ became reality.

So, PARENTING MATTERS is a blog on parenting, where in you can find information on various topics related to parenting, children, families and so on! It is a blog started by me , Dr. Pallavi Bapat Pinge- a Developmental Pediatrician. I deal with the development of children , their behavioural issues and parent-child relationship!

In this journey , I shall need your help at every step, for these blogs are for you all, parents and families!! So, do give your feedback, suggestions and even queries in comments section. Do like the blogs and follow to get updates of new blogs on this site.