Tag / children

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Screen Time-Boon or bane of 21st Century?

21st century, year 2020, and we are living in the digital world .If we have a look at our homes and count the number of appliances and technology based devices that we need from start of the day till bedtime- we will be amazed to see our dependence on technology!! We have TV, that too ‘smart’ ones for news, entertainment, we have laptops and desktops for ‘work from home’, school and college projects, we have internet to browse and search about everything and anything! We also have smart phones which are an all in 1 package-we set alarms, we make video calls, we watch web series on OTT platforms, we are on social media, we have apps for music and radio, we pay bills, get appointments and even attend official meetings on these smart phones! Not only this, we have mobile games, pubG, play station, videogames, nursery rhymes and songs and so many entertainment options for our kids of all ages !! Undoubtedly, being in this world of technology is indeed very opportune times for all of us!

But, as they say anything in excess is harmful….so is this Digitalization! And here comes the demon of excess digitalization- it’s called ‘Screen time’. Some of you must have heard about it, some of you know about it, but are not acquainted with the term- ‘Screen time’ !!So, what is this screen time? 

Screen time/Digital screen exposure is the amount of time spent by an individual using a digital/electronic media i.e. a device with a screen such as a smart phone, tablet, computer, television, video games or wearable technology. ‘Digital media’ refers to content transmitted over the Internet or computer networks on all devices, unless particular ones are specified. So, are we having lots of screen time or digital media exposure? Yes, absolutely- because we all are on atleast one of these screens –all the time!!

And now the most important question- are we exposing our children to screen time?? Yes…we are!! What is the youngest age at which these kids are exposed to screen time? Have you noticed around you? I have seen as young as 4 month old babies being shown mobile songs and videos by their parents!! Many houses have habit of keeping the TV on all the time, in such houses babies as young as 2months are exposed to this background TV!! So, what are the possible reasons-for introducing these small little dumplings to these screens?? There are many reasons.

For Feeding- yes! We expect a 15 month old to sit at one place and finish of his or her meal in 10-15 minutes just like us!! But this toddler who has recently learned to toddle around is more interested in exploring the surroundings!! And so, we give this little one, a mobile video to watch, and then just feed the baby hurriedly!! What a relief! So yes- we use while feeding.

Then, we use screens as a babysitting tool! In nuclear family settings as well as in joint families where we have forgotten our age old songs and rhymes to engage our kids, we have forgotten to play with our own kids, we are short of ideas to engage our kids, and we are busy ourselves on our screens-either for work or our entertainment; giving an Ipad/tablet or a mobile with your child’s favourite cartoon to watch is the easiest option to keep him/her engaged! So yes- screens are a babysitting tool!

Then, for entertainment- kids now a days are so well acquainted with the touch screen and all other technicalities of the gadgets, that they know how to download a game, how to play it etc. So, gadgets are used for playing video games and mobile games!!

Also, many informative apps are available for kids of all ages, which are used by parents to teach their children alphabets, numbers, and even learning apps which help in understanding concepts through audiovisuals!!

There are other reasons also, like  to prevent a tantrum, or to end a tantrum; to distract a child from an unwanted demand, or the last resort to keep the child busy ,so that you can do your daily chores!!! !!! So, yes we use screens for our children for various reasons!

But, are we heading in the right direction in terms of amount of screen exposure for our kids??

 Is your child being exposed to screen excessively?? What is excessive screen time exposure??

How to keep a check on that? Are there any potential benefits?  

Does screen time have a bad impact on your kid? Does this problem exist in India?

 Many of us might have the misconception that this is a problem of western world- we don’t have it!  To understand this, I would like to shed light on the magnitude of this problem! SO, in high income countries like US and UK,  in a study it was found that 66-70% of children in the age group of 2-5 years had more than 2hours of screen time daily!  Whereas ,in middle income countries like Thailand, Malaysia, India, nearly 40% of 0-2 year old children spent more than 2 hours/day on screens!!SO, the problem is of equal magnitude everywhere!

It has also been observed that screen time exposure increases in weekends compared to weekdays because of greater availability of time and lack of schedule! So, holidays, summer vacations and weekends are more likely to increase the habit of watching screens!!

In a study done in Malaysia, 25.7%of urban population had more than 2 hours of screen exposure; where as 32.7% of the rural population had more than 2 hours of screen time exposure! Thus, screen time exposure is prevalent in rural as well as urban areas equally and hence the problem of excess screen time exists in urban as well as rural population!!

TV still dominates total screen time and increases with age. Many children accumulate screen time at home and in child care, from a variety of screens that are easily transportable. And the range of exposure to screens is from 2-4 hours/day to more than 15 hours/week irrespective of age!! And hence, people busy in their phones during meals, children occupied with smart phones during metro or train travels or parent and child both engrossed in individual screens while waiting for an appointment at a doctor’s clinic are now-a-days regular scenes unfortunately!!

Now let’s focus on the effects of this screen time exposure on children! Early exposure to screen i.e. within 5 years of age can be formative. It can be habit-forming, and early overexposure increases the likelihood of overuse in later life. Also, establishing healthy routines with respect to media use is easier in early childhood than later on. And screen use tends to increase over time to include more entertainment than exclusively educational viewing.

There are potential benefits and risks of screen time affecting the development, psychosocial and physical domains of children. Firstly, the risks of screen time are as follows:

  1. Development: For language development, first two years of life are the most crucial years for the child!! The more stimulation child gets in this time, the more diverse is the language development of this child. However, exposing the child during these two years to screens including background TV has a negative impact on the language development. The use and acquisition of new words, developing vocabulary and comprehension of new words is hampered!  Why does this happen? Because Babies do not absorb content from TV which is presented to them in 2D format as compared to the 3D format, when we interact with the baby in person.  Infants may imitate some of the specific actions seen on the nursery rhymes between 6 and 14 months, they might even remember brief sequences of the rhymes like head, shoulder, knee and toes etc by 18 months, but they actually begin to understand content on these screens by the end of their second year only. So all the nursery rhymes, songs shown to the baby were a waste of precious time which we as parents could have spent in one to one interaction in ‘Motherese’ or ‘Infant directed speech’ i.e. high pitched but slow speech so that the baby absorbs our facial movements when we speak to him or her and learns from that.  The infants and toddlers are have difficulty transferring new learning from a 2D representation of screen to a 3D object in real life and hence are unlikely to learn from TV and other screens in this age group. Also, the sound effects and animation can interfere with story comprehension and event sequencing, thus ultimately leading to no benefit to the child’s development. In mobile videos and songs, infants are exposed to too many stimuli like light, sound, movement  and hence are unable to grasp anything out of it. Hence, these children exposed to screens at tender ages of 6-18months have the risk of significant language and communication delays!

Some red flags in language development, which as parents you can keep a watch on! No cooing responsively by 6months of age- i.e if baby is not responding to your talks with different sounds-; no babbling words like mama dada, kaka etc by 10 months of age, no gestures like waving bye-bye by 12 months of age, no words other than mama dada, not following simple commands and not pointing for wants by 18 month of age. No 2 word sentences by 2 years of age, not showing body parts by 2 years of age and less than 50 words vocabulary by 2 years of age are red flags regarding language development. In such scenario, you need to intervene and take your doctor’s advice.

And hence, considering the tremendous impact of screen time on children, World Health Organization and American Academy of Pediatrics have formed Screen Time Guidelines. According to these guidelines, no screen time is recommended up to 2 years of age; and for children 2-5 years of age not more than total 1 hour of adult directed screen time in a day is recommended i.e. screen time with involvement of the parents, thus making it an interactive watching instead of passive viewing.

Screen time has a negative impact on the motor development of children too. There is a delay in achieving motor milestones like walking, running, climbing stairs etc because of reduced opportunities for outdoor play or physical activity as the child is engaged more on screens! In older kids, lack of outdoor play shows its impact on the motor coordination refinement of fine motor abilities of the children!

Screen time also has negative effect on feeding. Toddlers who are given screens while feeding are just gulping the food while being engrossed in the screen and hence donot  have interest in the food- its texture, color, taste etc! Also, the child doesn’t develop understanding of one’s own satiety and hunger as he or she is forced fed while watching videos! Feeding while watching screens also affects the chewing abilities of the child, child just keeps the morsel in his mouth as he/she is engrossed in the video, child has to be reminded to chew and then swallow! In many families, even after the child is 3 or 4 year old, the child eats only pureed or paste like consistency food only, because it is this semi- solid food which is easy to eat while watching screens. So they have difficulty in eating solid food items, hence lose on to many nutritious food items and also are likely to become picky eaters. If this continues, child becomes dependent on parents for feeding, doesn’t eat Tiffin in school and is lacking self help skills of feeding self! This eventually affects the nutrition of the child!

Screen time also affects the cognitive development of the child by altering short term memory skills, reading and math skills. In a study, 4-5 year olds based on the history given by their parents, were divided into two groups- children with more than 1 hour screen time and children with less than 1 hour or no screen time! These children were then given blank papers, colours and some art material and were told to make or draw whatever they liked without any specific guidelines! It was observed that, children with more screen time needed some clues and guidelines to use the given material; thus showing difficulty in using creativity and imaginative thinking. Whereas children with less or no screen time exposure experimented with the given material and used their imagination and creativity to make different drawing and craft items out of it!! Thus it is evident that, screen time has a negative impact on the cognition of these preschool children.

2. Psychosocial Domain: In today’s world, as we can observe, our own use of mobile technology demands more intense attention than other activities like reading a book or watching TV. In such situations, we are so engrossed in it, that we are unable to engage in one to one interaction with the family members. Smart phones blur the line between work and home life, the time consumed on the devices is unpredictable and responding often requires emotional investment. For parents, shifting attention between screens and family life can be stressful, tiring and reduces their ability to interact ‘in the moment’ with children. When parents and child both are busy in screens, the quality and the amount of parent child interaction decreases leading lower level of involvement of parents and reduced stimulation for the child from parents. There is a strong association between parents’ screen time and that of their children.As parents are also busy in screens, there is lack of positive role model for the children when they are told not to spend time with screens!! Hence, there is chance of increase in conflicts between parents and child and thus increasing negative interactions and affecting family bonding!

Screen time does have a bad impact on our sleep too. The amount of time spent viewing screens before bedtime is associated with an increase in sleep problems. The volume of screen time as well as the content is detrimental to sleep patterns. The light exposure on the screens reduces melatonin secretion- the sleep inducing hormone in our body, leading to disrupted sleep, reduced sleep quality and duration. And if a child doesn’t have good sleep, then is likely to have behaviour problems in daytime when awake; thus forming a vicious cycle.

Excess of screen time exposure from an early age leads to hyperactivity, inattention, aggressive behaviour and anger outburst. As child spends more time indoors and less with peers and playmates, there is decreased socialization, which leads to lack of social skills too; child doesn’t understand how to behave in social situations, doesn’t learn to agree with disagreements, develops temper tantrums, has difficulty in planning, coordination and execution of thought into behaviours; thus provoking anti social behaviour and leads to social isolation. Excessive screen time leads to rewiring of the still developing brain leading to permanent changes in brain which promote anxiety, fear, depression, addiction, poor mental wellbeing, increased aggression and violent behaviour. A child spending hours on mobile games and videos promoting violence has difficulty in self regulation when moving around real world and dealing with real people and real life situations!

This negative impact on the overall development and psycho social wellbeing of the child leads to lack of school readiness in the child impacting his or her school life which can ultimately affect the personality and mental well being of these children as an individual.

3. Physical domain: The effect of screen time on physical domains is a long term consequence, majorly affecting school age children and teenagers. These children along with TV watching, mobile videos are also into gaming and internet usage and thus spend more time with the screens. This leads to decrease in physical activity and they are more likely to turn into a ‘couch potato’. Thus, exposure to screens promotes sedentary behaviours and compromises the much needed physical activity in these fast growing children. Spending time on screens also exposes them to commercial advertisements with alluring depictions of unhealthy foods like chips, chocolate, soda etc, thus encouraging unhealthy snacking habits. This ultimately leads to increased calorie intake which coupled with decreased physical activity increases the risk of obesity. Obesity if present in childhood is likely to continue in adulthood too, thus making prone to hypertension, diabetes and other lifestyle diseases.

However, nothing in this world is so bad, that it lacks any benefits or positives! So is the case of screen time too. It has potential benefits in development, psycho social domain and physical domain of the child; only if used mindfully and in moderation.

Potential benefits

  • Development: Beginning at about 2 years, if child is introduced to well-designed, age-appropriate educational programs with specific educational goals, it can provide an additional route to early language and literacy for children. These quality programmes also foster aspects of cognitive development, like creative thinking and imaginative play. So using applications with interactive media with age appropriate content- where parent can give timely reactions to what a child says or does, can help children retain taught information. Interactive ‘learn-to-read’ apps and e-books can build early literacy by providing practice with letters, phonics and word recognition. However, one needs to keep in mind that the amount of time spent on this is within the recommended limits of 1 hour for children 2-5 years of age. Also, though screens may help with language learning when quality content is co-viewed and discussed with a parent or caregiver, preschoolers learn best from live, direct and dynamic interactions with caring adults.
  • Psycosocial domain: Quality content can enhance social and language skills for all children aged 2 years and older. Well designed, age-appropriate educational programs and screen activities can be powerfully pro-social, helping children to learn antiviolence attitudes, empathy, tolerance and respect. Appropriately used, screen time can calm a child who is overexcited or distressed (e.g., during a medical procedure). But screen learning can affect behaviour both positively and negatively, so ensuring quality content is crucial.
  • Physical domain: Children’s screen time does not have to be passive; digital media use can encourage and complement physical activity. Especially after age 3 years, children respond to activity-based programming when it is fun, designed for them and encourages imitation or participation. Active video games can be used to increase light-to-moderate or moderate-to-vigorous physical activity in times when going out is not possible. Hence fun, age appropriate movement and fitness apps (yoga or dance) or console games can be used to integrate more physical activities into daily routines. . Mobile devices with apps for exploring the natural world can enhance outdoor physical activity. Such mobile apps can connect on- with off-screen experiences, foster engagement with caregivers and peers and support active, imaginative play. However, again this has to be within the recommended limits of 1 hour of screen time in a day and should not replace actual outdoor play in gardens and rough housing at homes!

So, while we wish to reap the benefits of screen time , how can we limit the screen time exposure to optimum levels?  So, we are going to approach this problem with a 4 pronged approach with the 4 Ms.

  1. Minimize
  2. Mitigate
  3. Mindful use
  4. Model
  1. Minimize screen time:

Minimizing screen time leaves more time for face to-face interactions, which is how young children learn best.

  • Screen time for children younger than 2 years is not recommended. So absolutely no screen time up to 2 years of age. By contrast, they learn intensely through face-to-face interaction with parents and caregivers. Early learning is easier, more enriching and developmentally more efficient when experienced live, interactively, in real time and space, and with real people. Increase cognitive stimulation and parent child interaction by doing activities using toys, colors, art, games books etc.
  • For children 2 to 5 years, limit routine or regular screen time to less than 1 hour per day. Watch with children. Adults can connect what is being viewed with real life, and build language and cognitive skills, such as attention, memory and thinking. Shared screen time also avoids the disadvantages of solitary viewing.
  • Ensure that sedentary screen time is not a routine part of child care for children younger than 5 years.
  • Maintain daily ‘screen-free’ times, especially for family meals and book-sharing.Avoid screens for at least 1 hour before bedtime, given the potential for melatonin-suppressing effects.

2. Mitigate (reduce) the risks associated with screen time:

When children watch educational, age-appropriate content with an engaged adult, screen time can be a positive learning experience, thus reducing the risk associated with screen time.

  • Be present and engaged when screens are used and, whenever possible, co-view with children.
  • Be aware of content and prioritize educational, age-appropriate and interactive programming.
  • Use parenting strategies that teach self-regulation, calming and limit-setting. Combine touch screen use with creative or active play.

3. Mindful use of screen time:

Children younger than 5 years learn best from live, immersive interactions with family members and caregivers. Given the choice, they will nearly always opt for talking, playing or being read to over screen time in any form. Hence, as parents and caregivers, we need to use screens mindfully.

  • Actively enhance—and limit—media encounters by choosing them together and purposefully (‘let’s watch or play this content, at this time, for this reason’)
  • .Limit screen use in public places and during family routines, such as at meals. Family times are prime opportunities for social learning.
  • Select content from quality, non-commercial sources, to minimize exposure to advertising. Pay attention to messages about gender, body image, violence, diversity and social issues when choosing content. Help children recognize and question advertising messages, stereotyping and other problematic content.
  • Conduct a self-assessment of current screen habits and develop a family media plan for when, how and where screens may (and may not) be used. Like no background TV, no screen time during meals, in bedrooms, and 1 hour prior to sleep. Developing a family ‘media action plan’ can help protect and reinforce quality family time. Setting meaningful limits when children are young and sharing them as a family is far easier than cutting back screen time when children are older. For children—and parents—off-screen time is critical for developing essential life skills such as self-regulation, creativity and learning through physical and imaginative play.
  • Remember: too much screen time means lost opportunities for teaching and learning.Be reassured that there is no evidence to support introducing technology at an early age. Your child is not missing out anything by being exposed to technology later.

4. Adults should model healthy screen use:

Children younger than 5 years require active play and quality family time to develop essential life skills, such as language, self-regulation and creative thinking. Regardless of age, children should not have to compete with screens for parental attention.

  • Choose healthy alternatives, such as reading, outdoor play and creative, hands-on activities.
  • Turn off their devices at home during family time.
  • Turn off screens when not in use and avoid background TV.

Thus, as we can see, the screen time has its effects on overall development of our children, and whether this is a positive effect or a negative one depends on how we use it!! So let’s use the 4 Ms- Minimize screen time, Mitigate the risks of screen time, Mindful use of screen time and Model good screen use behaviours to tame this demon  of ‘screen time’ and make it one of the boons of this 21st century!!

Do like, share our blog and give your feedback in comments section. This blog is also available as a podcast on KUKU FM .The link for it is

(The author is a Developmental and Behavioural Pediatrician and deals with issues o children’s development and behaviours.)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Engaging 7-11 year olds: In times of Lockdown

Who is the busiest member of your family? Moms: working at home as well as in office?? Or DADs: having meetings, dropping kids to school, taking grandma to the doctor? Or your 9-10 year old champ, who has a packed schedule from morning till night! School, tuition, karate class or basketball class on weekdays, art class on weekends, homework to finish with, exams to tackle, friends to meet and so on! And somehow in all this, squeezing time to sleep too!! Yes, these school age children are the busiest member of the family. But for this busiest member, suddenly summer holidays have arrived early! That too without giving exams; and these holidays are going to be for long! But, because of the lockdown, we are not able to engage our kids into various outdoor activities like sports, dance, art class etc which we conveniently do in summers!! Because of the lockdown, these children are unable to hang out with their friends and peers! And so, being at home 24*7, sometimes there is friction between parent and child, sometimes they are getting bored and sometimes they are driving us crazy!!!

So it’s a full house!

And it is for this very reason, we are here at Parenting matters: In times of Lockdown to help you out in knowing and understanding   your children better and thus managing them effortlessly!

Children of age group 7-11 years form the part of middle to late childhood. Their physical growth slows down; their gross motor and fine motor skills have developed well by now. However, they show tremendous growth in language, cognitive, social, moral and emotional domains of development. They develop better communication, conversation and narrative skills. They  generally spend more time in social settings like school, playground, art class etc. and hence spend more time with friends than parents!! With peers they are learning to cooperate and work together agreeably and collectively. They start developing their identity! The magical, egocentric  and inflexible thinking found  in less than 6 year old children , is gradually replaced in these school age children  by flexible logical reasoning. They are ready to grasp mathematical concepts of numbers like addition, subtraction, multiplication. They can interpret mass, weight, length etc and develop spatial reasoning thus understanding  geographical directions too. They are able to classify and categorise things, situations and ideas by focusing on several aspects of a problem and this helps them in problem solving and getting organised.  

Thus as we see these children are on  a journey of tremendous growth in different domains of development; hence, while engaging them at home and letting them strike off their boredom, parents should focus on 8 areas.

  1. Have a schedule: Even though these are holidays, have a schedule for your child. Since, there are no schools or activity classes to keep them busy, lack of a timetable is likely to increase unproductive activities like watching TV, sulking because of boredom and snacking food! Sit down with your child, and make a schedule for the next day. Make schedules on a daily basis. Include regular bedtime and waking time; time for screen, time for reading, physical activity etc.  Schedules bring discipline, increase productivity and promote better utilisation of time. 

2. Eating habits: Many children have a habit of communicating their boredom by telling their moms every few hours- that they are hungry! And want something to eat or drink. Staying indoors, reduced opportunity of physical activity and boredom is likely to increase calorie consumption of these children. It becomes difficult for parents also to fulfil the demands by cooking something or the other. Thus, in such scenarios it is likely that we as parents take the aid of packaged food items or ready to eat food items like Chocos, biscuits, chips,  fries, Maggi, just fry , frozen desserts etc. These lead to increased consumption of HFSS- i.e high fat, high sugar and high salt containing food items !

Therefore, some rules regarding eating habits should be followed at home:

  • No eating in front of the screen or rather no eating while viewing TV/mobile/video games
  • Involve your child whether a girl or a boy,  in the preparations of at least one meal of the day. You can start with evening snacks and non fire cooking. This is a chance to teach your child various measurements in cooking, making understand serving portions and demonstrate applied science too.
  • Ensure that  in the diet of your child, there are at least 2 servings of fruits and at least 5 servings of vegetables in 24 hours of a day; where one serving is equal to ½ cup.
  • Make food items aesthetically attractive, thus increasing the interest of your child in the food. Have at least one meal together.
  • Replace highly processed foodstuffs with less processed or home-made options.
  • Limit sugary drinks, sweets, fatty meats and salty or highly processed foods
  • Ensure adequate water intake, i.e. at least 2 to 2.5 litres of water per day.

3. Screen time: Holidays and especially this lockdown have led to increased screen time. However, as per American Academy of Paediatrics guidelines, for school age children i.e. 6-11 years of age, not more than 1.5-2 hours of screen time is recommended per day. The content should be non violent and should be monitored by parents. Passive screen time is always more harmful than active, adult directed screen time.  Use screen time as a reward so that ‘earned screen time’ is used efficiently.  Ensure that screen time doesn’t compromise the sleep and physical activity of the child. Also, behaviour of the child should be watched for, since excessive screen time can lead to hyperactivity, inattention, irritability and sleep issues. Ensure no screens during meals, no screens in bedroom and no screen 1 hour prior to sleeping time.

4. Physical activity: At least 1 hour of physical activity is recommended for these school children. Engage them in your own work out, power yoga sessions etc. Nothing like sharing the joy of exercise with your children.  Here, you are modelling good habits too by setting an example.

5. Reading time: If your child has already been bitten by the reading bug, you can make your child’s reading time interesting by giving him/her assignments like finding 10 adjectives, finding 10 nouns, searching about the cities/places mentioned in the child’s story book. This age group of children are ready to explore science principles, geographical places, chronology of historical events; Expose them to such kind of books and make small small projects with your child on these topics. Do simple science experiments, make a map of your locality or route from home to school, discuss about the family tree of various dynasties and so on! Amar Chitra Katha has loads of issues based on historical and mythological characters. Similarly Tell me why, Nat Geo kids, Wisdom and many other magazines  provide the material needed for these absorptive brains! Make reading pleasurable by associating it with art and craft; make bookmarks for the books, Make a cartoon strip or a picture book with your child.

If your child hasn’t developed the habit of reading, you can start it now. Start with 15 mins per day; just 1 small story a day or 2 pages per day. But start. Read with your child, read to your child, reading together ensures that the reading time is not missed. Set goals for reading, like finishing together a book over a week or so! Reading actually reduces stress, improves memory, focus and concentration and induces better sleep. It increases vocabulary, improves communication and writing skills too.

However, many homes support their child’s not reading during summer with the reasoning that the child has to read so much in school days. But, this taking a break from reading leads to serious summer learning loss that can negatively impact long term academic achievement. This is called as SUMMER SLIDE. Students who read during the summer gain an average of 1 month of reading proficiency. Students who don’t read lose an average of 2-3 months proficiency and over time, those lost months add up to years. By high school, 2/3 of the reading achievement gap can be attributed to summer learning loss during the primary school years. Also, starting each new school year, teachers have to spend an average of 4-6 weeks of re-teaching the forgotten skills and materials! Hence, we have to make a wise choice by choosing reading over SUMMER SLIDE.

Thus, reading is a must. Ensure your child reads-read newspapers, comics, children magazines, story books, history , mythology and so on. There are lot many options out there.

6. Hobbies: Yes, this is the time to develop hobbies. Utilize your child’s leisure time in developing skills in art, craft, cooking, gardening, making scrapbook about interesting facts, music etc. See what interests your child. Availability of internet has made pursuing one’s hobbies much easier. There are tutorials for everything under the sun. All you have to do is search! Internet has also promoted the concept of ‘Do It Yourself- DIY’ and thus we are heading towards self learning rather than spoon feeding!!

7. Responsibilities and habits: This time of lockdown or rather holidays can be an opportunity to give your child household responsibilities and help in developing self esteem and feeling of competency. Household tasks like filling up the bottles, serving plates for dinner, sorting the laundry, cleaning and decorating a corner of the house etc can help in making your child a responsible individual. Giving the responsibility of taking care of one plant, observing how it  grows, will not only introduce science to your child but will also stimulate emotional development.  Developing habit of making the bed, organising the wardrobe make the children more organised. Use rewards and token economy for reinforcing these habits and responsibilities.

8. Siblings relationships: Families where there are siblings, can either have moments of cooperation and affection between the siblings or some moments of pity fights and quarrels leading to some amount of sibling rivalry. It is essential to maintain a balance between both. Hence, ensure that both children are given adequate attention. Both are praised for their strengths, target weaknesses individually and avoid comparisons! Engage in an activity which involves siblings together. Give them collective responsibilities as a team. This shall further develop skills of working in team cooperatively; evolving the family bond too!

So, in a nutshell,  during this lockdown, for your child have a schedule , monitor eating and screen time, stick to reading time, give at least 1 hour of physical activity, nurture the hobbies, develop habits and give responsibilities and utilise resources by making siblings a good team!!!

I hope, the information shared in today’s blog shall be useful to the parents of school age children (7-11 years) . . This blog is also available as a podcast on KUKU FM . the link for podcast is http://applinks.kukufm.com/KosAHHaNWx4PdfZ48

Do share, like, subscribe our podcast and give your feedback and suggestions in comments section

(The author is a Developmental Paediatrician and deals with development and behavioural issues of children.)

by Dr Pallavi Bapat Pinge

Engaging children(3-6year olds) |Times of Lockdown

Have you ever been to a garden? Of course, what kind of question is this? Then have you noticed the children over there. There are children of all age groups; from 0 to teens!! Some infants are in their mother’s lap , some are  in a pram with their granny, and enjoying the show peacefully; some teens are busy quarrelling over cheating in a match, some 8-9 year olds are inquisitively looking at a snail or caterpillar in the bushes and planning some prank or so!!. But the happiest souls exploring the place like a free bird are 3-6 year olds!! They are the ones who are carefree, exploring the world and people around them without any prejudice!! They want to explore everything, the swings, the slide, the soil, the way a football goes up after a kick, and so on!! Nothing like a 4 year old ready to be friends with a stranger/another kid! But, these kids are still dependent on their parents. From the corner of their eye, they keep a watch whether their mom is looking for them or not! If someone offers them a food item or something, the child looks for an affirmation from his/her parents before accepting the offered item!

Thus they are not yet completely independent individuals, but are also not as dependent on their parents as an infant or a toddler. They are exploring, they are learning and they are growing up! And now, all because of the CORONA pandemic, these young explorers are trapped at home because of the LOCKDOWN. They are not able to go OUT and explore objects, people and behaviours!  No play school, no pre-school, no crèche and no gardens! Just think about a researcher whose research has been put to a halt because of lack of funds!!! Exactly, that’s the feeling your child has right now! But no worries, we are here at Parenting Matters- in times of lockdown to help you engage your 3-6 year olds at home, and create an equally stimulating environment in space limitations!

Early childhood i.e. 3 to 6 year olds is a period of child development where they develop more refined motor skills, become more self controlled and self sufficient. Their make believe play blossoms. They start relating their experiences like travelling in a train, going to a fun fair etc in their imaginative play. You find a 4 year old getting ready for office or preparing tea for the dolls in his/her play. Their thought and language expands at an astounding pace; they start using difficult words, phrases and can even tell short stories., a sense of morality starts developing , they start understanding terms like ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and initiate friendships!!

  These children form the 3rd stage of Erikson’s Psychosocial stage where children are learning to take initiative, explore and if parent’s support this sense of purpose of their child, a sense of ambition and responsibility develops. However, if too much self control is demanded at this age by the parents may lead the child to excessive guilt, thus affecting the self esteem of the child. This age group represents the Pre operational stage of Cognitive development as theorized by Piaget. And Make believe play forms the most important part of their development in all domains- motor, language, cognitive and social too! It is this make believe play  which strengthens the memory , sustained attention and logical reasoning. It highlights the imagination and creativity of the child. Imaginative play creates an opportunity for the child to understand emotions and reflect on one’s own thinking. Child starts taking another’s perspective too.

They say children are born creative, but 98% cease to be creative as they become adults! And Hence, we the 98% not creative adults find it difficult to engage these young explorers and creative minds!!!

So while dealing with this age group I would like to focus on two major areas-

First, activities for the children and                                                                                             

Second, general guidelines for parents while handling them.

Following are the ways in which you can engage your children (3-6 years) at home during these times of lockdown and beyond.

  1. PLAY– Have you ever wondered why the schools of 3-6 year olds are called PLAY schools? What does the term “Kindergarten” mean? It means children’s garden!! And what to do children do in gardens? Play. Exactly, this is the reason these schools are called play schools. Because PLAY is the single most important occupation of children. Play is the work of childhood.  Albert Einstein has rightly said “Play is the highest form of research.” It is through play that children are learning, experimenting, creating and thinking!

While playing with your child, provide your child with realistic materials like toy car, dolls, cooking utensils etc and also provide materials with no clear function like blocks, blank papers, sand etc. The combination of these shall bring out the creativity in your child’s play.

Gross Motor Activities:

  • You can engage your child in hopping, jumping, wheelbarrow walks, skipping, animal walks,(crab walk, elephant walk, frog jump etc) alphabet yoga and animal poses (cat, frog, rabbit etc).
  • Activities involving   a series of action commands, obstacle courses spanning all the rooms of the house, balloon toss using both hands fists, alphabet bull’s eye and so on promote gross motor skills.
  • Atleast 30 minutes to 1 hour of physical activity per day is a must.

Fine Motor Activities:

  • Activities like opening bottles, squeezing, punching holes, lacing, beading, finding buttons in clay dough or Atta dough, putting coins in piggy bank etc can help in refining the fine motor skills of the child.
  •  They help in developing hand grip, handedness, hand coordination and hand and finger strength.
  • Here I would like to mention, donot force a left handed child to right handedness. It’s going to do no good to the child. And being left handed is absolutely fine!! Many geniuses and creative people have been left handed.

Art and Craft:

  • Involve the child in some art activities like craft, origami, etc Start with as simple as a boat, dog, house out of colored papers.
  • You can make a collage using bits of newspaper. For example, draw a large mango on an A4 paper, and then find yellow color on the newspaper, tear those bits, and stick them.
  • Use different types of stickers and help your child decorate his/her name.
  •  Let your child scribble, draw, color different objects. Let the child go by his imagination and creativity. Donot try to limit the child by making him follow the conventions like blue sky, green plants etc. If your child wants a PINK SKY…so be it!!!

Activities promoting Pre writing and early literacy skills

These children are   learning to write, learning alphabets, numbers, colors, shapes etc.

  • Paper pencil activities like mazes, find the difference, join the dots, find the odd man out, alphabet search, number search are very useful.
  • For these, many online worksheets are available. Also, magazines like Magic Pot, Read and Color, Chiku Piku also have similar activities!
  • At home, during daily activities like arranging utensils in kitchen rack, putting clothes for laundry etc you can practice counting, identifying colors, and shapes with your kiddo.
  • Use finger paints, crayons, sand, Atta to help your child trace alphabets and numbers and thus learn and enjoy in messy play!

Activities to promote Cognitive skills:

  • Teach the child concepts like big and small, more and less using toys, food items and other objects.
  • Give sorting activities.
  • Play dumb charades with your child to teach him about various emotions, actions, weather conditions, adjectives etc.
  • Create riddles and play guess who, make a treasure hunt for your child using clues like- red objects or round objects etc.
  • Blind fold your child and let the child identify objects given in his/her hand or ask him/her to identify the sounds of animals, objects that you make (Soundscape).
  • Play games like copy me and Simon Says-these stimulate imitation, attention and right and left differentiation also.
  • Jigsaw puzzles are big cognitive exercise. If you don’t have jigsaw puzzles, you can make one at home. Select a picture of animal, cartoon etc, paste it on a card board, cut it into 4 pieces and the puzzle is ready. You can gradually increase the difficulty level by increasing the number of pieces as the child starts enjoying it. Or you can even use the front side of a Cornflakes box or Choco’s box and divide it into pieces to make a puzzle.
  • Board games like snakes and ladders; ludo, carom, Jenga etc help in understanding rules and turn taking.
  • Memory games, Ring toss also can engage and stimulate the creative minds!

2. Reading Time and Story time : This lockdown period can turn out to be a great opportunity for you to develop the habit of reading in your child. It promotes child and parent bonding where you can open the whole world of possibilities for your child.  Joseph Addison has rightly said “Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body”. And hence a child who reads will be an adult who thinks! Daily reading for 10-15 minutes can add up to exposure to more than 1 million words in a year. Reading daily with the child can enhance General Knowledge, vocabulary, reading comprehension, verbal fluency and spellings! Children’s books actually contain 50% more rare words than prime time television. So we have to make the wise choice. Even if you are not yourself into reading regularly, start with your kid now! It’s never too late !!

 Story time is actually a part of reading time but it can be made more interesting by asking questions about the story during and after the story; Creating situations and asking the child what he/she would have done; bring a twist by asking the child to ring the bell as the names of the characters appear in the story or  just  weave a story with your child line after line!

3.  Self help skills or Activities of daily living– This is the age to learn toilet training, to undress and dress up, eating by self, brushing teeth, tying shoe laces and so on.  These are called self help skills Give opportunity to your child to do these activities even though you feel the kid won’t be able to do them properly. In our Indian culture, parents have an inclination of doing things for their child out of love and affection, but then that child doesn’t develop these essential self help skills by 6 years of age and hence in later ages is still dependent.  So you can use this lockdown period to focus on any one self help skill and help and motivate the child in doing that. Use rewards like stars to reinforce the desired behaviour.

4. Social stories: As we are practising social distancing, the opportunities for socialization are minimum for these children. And since this is the age when children socialize, make friends, learn social skills, they are indeed missing out! So, as parents you can make social stories with your child, where you can take scenarios like, visiting a friend’s place, going to the doctor, going for a haircut,  going to the movies, what to do when  hurt, etc. Then using colors, papers and framing some single line sentences, a story book can be made. This can be useful in making the child understand various situations, the social skill needed, the kind of behaviour expected in the scenarios. So even though in lockdown, you can help your children develop social skills.  

These stories later on can be used just prior to the situation also, thus helping the child reduce the anxiety of unknown , because most of the times when we take our child out, we donot convey where we are going and what is expected of him/her over there; and then suddenly we find the child being anxious or misbehaving in the social scenario.

So in this way, you can do variety of activities with your child at home, all you have to do is use some creativity and imagination!

  Now let’s focus on some general guidelines for parents while handling their children.

  1. Catch your child being good. We as parents take our child’s good behaviour for granted and hence do not acknowledge. But praising the child and acknowledging good behaviours can reinforce the behaviour and also increase the child’s self esteem.
  2. Be consistent. Both parents as well as the grandparents (if staying together) should be on same page regarding child’s behaviour. If child gets different responses for same behaviour from the mother or father or grandparents, kid is smart enough to manipulate and get things done as per his/her will.
  3. Keep promises. If promised a reward for a good behaviour, ensure that you give that reward. Hence, rewards which are doable should only be promised. Rewards like pat on the back, praise, stickers, stars, small toys, play time with parents etc are advisable.  Similarly, if any punishment or denial of privileges was promised for not obeying or for misbehaviour, it should be executed. However, any type of physical punishment is not recommended.
  4. Provide good models/lead by example. Children are very observant. They pick up habits of parents without being taught to. Hence, if you wish to develop a habit, ensure that you lead it by setting an example. Some good models of values like kindness, honesty, cleanliness can be taught in real life settings as well as through story books.
  5. Label the act not the child.If child misbehaves, donot label the child as bad boy or bad girl, rather label the act done by the child as bad. This is very important to develop self esteem of the child. Also, explain why the act is bad or wrong and what was expected from the child.
  6. Give responsibility to the child. Simple tasks of bringing a water bottle from the kitchen, to taking help of your child in caregiving of the younger sibling can boost up the self esteem.
  7. Give positive directions and clear commands to your child. Limit setting is a must. There should be a balance between child listening to your commands and you fulfilling child’s demands. Too much of permissiveness will lead to temper tantrums and behavioural issues. Too much of control can decrease the confidence of the child and even sow the seeds of shame and guilt.
  8.  Quality time or Child Directed time: This is that time of the day, where you do not tell your child what to do, but rather your child chooses what to do and you be just a part of the activity without being judgemental, without giving instructions to the child. Spend 10-15 minutes of a day with the child this way, and you shall notice your child’s independent thinking, creativity and interests. This is a chance to build up that bond and confidence between you two, so that your child knows when in need you will be there without judgement.
  9. Screen time– As per American Academy of Paediatrics, for children 2-5 year old, not more than 60 minutes of adult directed screen time is recommended. That means, the parent should be actively involved while viewing on screen, and should involve the child in interaction while watching. Parents should themselves choose the content and shouldn’t allow passive and independent watching of videos, songs and games! Studies have shown that excessive screen time  can lead to delay in language acquisition and usage, delay in motor skills due decreased opportunity  of physical activity, decreased imagination and creativity, lower parental involvement, hyperactivity, aggression, reduced sleep,  poor sleep quality , unhealthy eating habits, obesity and poor social skills. Hence, limit screen time exposure, provide good models by decreasing your own use of screens, follow no screen in bedroom, no screen during meals and no screen 1 hour prior to sleep.
  10. Sleep Hygiene– Holidays affect the sleeping habits of kids badly.  No set bedtime, late morning awakenings, screen exposure before sleep all these affect the behaviour and activity of the child during the day. Hence, even though holidays are there, set bedtime has to be a rule, child’s bedroom should be quiet and dark ,follow bedtime routines like brushing teeth, bath ,reading story etc. Physical activity during the day helps in having a good sleep at night. Avoid caffeine (which is present in colas, chocolates etc) in the evening, as it can delay sleep.

So to sum up, in these times of lockdown, the magic 8 ways of engaging the 3-6 year olds at home are

  1. Use activities that promote motor skills, pre writing and early literacy skills and cognitive skills of the child.
  2. Take the help of art and craft.
  3. Include story time and reading time in daily schedule.
  4. Focus on self help skills and build it up.
  5. Introduce Social stories.
  6. Spend quality time or Child Directed time daily for atleast 15-20 minutes.
  7. Screen time not more than one hour per day.
  8. Maintain sleep hygiene.

I hope that the information shared in this blog shall be useful to the parents looking out for solutions while dealing with their children in the age group of 3-6 years. You can also listen to this information on podcast at KUKU Fm. The link for the podcast is http://applinks.kukufm.com/bvC5frCvZCMxV95m6 We will be coming soon with our part 3 of Parenting Matters-In times of Lockdown!

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